And when I finally moved, it was like stepping through molasses, everything slow and heavy.
I almost hoped I’d never see her again.
But I already knew that was a lie.
I walked.
Didn’t know where I was going, just that I couldn’t stay. The sky behind me bled out orange, then faded to bruised purple, then grey. Dusk crept in, slow and final.
Every step echoed. Every shadow got longer.
Crows screamed overhead, black shapes flapping from one dead tree to another. They landed on the power lines, eyeing me like they knew exactly what kind of monster shuffled past their kingdom.
The streets emptied. Doors slammed. Lights blinked out, one by one, as if the world wanted to forget it ever held me.
Didn’t blame it. I’d want to forget me, too.
I kept walking, out past the school, past the football field stripped bare by winter. The chain-link fence rattled in the wind, rattled like bones. The parking lot was empty except for trash bags blown up against the wheels of a rusted-out car.
Everything was silent. The only sound was the echo of my own footsteps and the crows, cawing like they were calling me home.
Hadn’t realized how dark it was getting. How cold, too. I dug my hands in my pockets, hunched my shoulders, tried to shrink down so the shadows wouldn’t rip me apart.
Didn’t work.
I saw Amelia everywhere. I saw Lillian, too, eyes glazed with disappointment.
They were all ghosts now, haunting my every step.
I wanted to blame them. Wanted to scream that none of this was my fault.
But I knew better. It’s always the monster’s fault for being born.
Dad would’ve laughed to see me like this. Face raw, knuckles split, a trail of pain behind me. He’d be proud I wrecked Amelia so good. He’d be proud I chased away my only friend. Proud that I learned the only lesson he ever bothered to teach:
Keep hurting them until they can’t hurt you.
Even if it means destroying yourself in the process.
I stopped by the playground at the edge of town, the one nobody used anymore. Swings creaked back and forth in the wind. The sand beneath them was scattered with broken glass.
I watched the sun wink out behind the treeline. Just black and blue and nothing.
Didn’t feel relief. Didn’t feel anything but the hollow, only the edge of emptiness where a heart should be.
Maybe I could stay here forever. Maybe the dark would finish what I couldn’t.
Crows circled overhead, cawing louder.
I threw my head back, screamed at them until my voice cracked.
They screamed back. Their answer was the only thing that made sense.
I walked some more, loops and circles, untilI didn’t know where I was or what time it was. Only that the world was empty, and I was the only thing left crawling through the wreckage.
No hope. No redemption. Just the shadows, and me, and the way anger kept the emptiness from swallowing me whole.
Maybe that was enough. Maybe that was all there ever was.
