“Amelia! Jesus. Calm down. You’re scaring me.”
Two hands made their way around my wrist, halting the flesh scratching and hair pulling. I tried to yank away but the pair of hands were too strong.
My screams eventually stopped. Yet, my body still trembled as if an earthquake was forcing its way through my rattled bones.
I opened my eyes and peered into Caiden’s concerned face. His eyes were no longer demonic. He looked normal again.
“Why would you say those things to me?” I whimpered, looking down at the soil which I sat upon.
“What did I say? I came back and you were screaming.” His eyes were wide as he interrogated me.
“You said you wanted me to die. Just now.”
Confusion was laced throughout his tone. “I didn’t say anything about you dying. Like I said, I came back a second ago and you were screaming. Telling an imaginary person to leave you alone.”
Now I was confused. Did I imagine that? I must have. “I think I need food. And sleep. My mind must be playing tricks on me,” I murmured.
“Yeah. You looked like a crazy person. Good thing I brought something back.”
If I had energy, I would have recoiled at his comment and bittenback. But there was nothing left, and I probably did just look like someone who had gone insane.
“I thought you weren’t going to come back.” I whispered defeatedly.
He stood up. “You didn’t think I would catch something? I was in the military, I know how to do that.”
I shook my head. “No. I thought you weren’t coming back at all.”
Caiden was quiet for a few moments, I thought he was not going to respond. Until he did. “I’m not going to leave you alone out here. As much as you irritate me, I’m not going to allow another thing to be on my guilty conscience.”
A half-smile made its way across my lips. It was faint, but it was there. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
He chuckled softly.
Once I stood up, he showed me the creature that he found and cooked. Caiden explained that the reason it took so long was because he started his own fire and cooked it before he brought it back.
He wanted me to be able to eat it right away. He also had some for himself before he returned.
The thought that he did something out of pure kindness was enough to warm my heart a little. He was still Caiden, my enemy, but just for today I wanted to pretend that he wasn’t. I wanted to believe that we weren’t enemies.
But we were, and we weren’t ourselves out here. We were surviving, even if it meant being something other than hateful rivals for a while. Our stomachs were empty; our minds were on the brink of the abyss.
The warmth on my heart scattered, swallowed by frost.
We spent the rest of that day in a cavernous silence, each of us peering into the bruised wilderness as if it might cough up something human.
The faint comfort I’d felt after eating faded fast, replaced by a cold distaste for what I’d swallowed, as if the meat were a violation more than a mercy. Maybe it was. The taste haunted my breath and burrowed in my stomach, refusing to dissolve.
Caiden’s mood curdled. He walked ahead, chin tucked, eyes narrow and glassy.
I imagined him replaying my accusations, rehearsing angry retorts, or maybe just counting the hours until we could stop pretending there was any alliance between us.
I wanted to hate him so badly, to let the old, reliable loathing fill me up and crowd out everything else, but it felt dulled, worn out by shock and hunger and the endless horizon of trees.
I just watched his back, the rigid lines of his spine, and wondered what it would feel like to be alone out here with nobody left to despise.
We slept that night in a shallow depression, curled back-to-back like animals, our bodies pressed close against the bitter cold but each of us holding court with our own nightmares.
I woke to the sound of Caiden breathing hard, as if he was choking on invisible hands. He muttered something, a string of frantic gibberish, and thrashed so violently he nearly rolled into the embers of our dead fire.
