“You’re not supposed to join anymore charity luncheons,” I say, kind of meanly. College Merit is an H.M.C. Philanthropies program, giving college financial aid to low-income students. “Aren’t you shadowing a forest ranger today?”
She plugs in her curling iron. “I was, but…I mentioned the forest ranger to my brother?—”
“No,” I growl out, knowing where this is headed.
Janie fiddles with the buttons on the old iron. “You didn’t see the way Ben lookedat me when I said he could take my place. He even hugged me, and he called mecool, Moffy.” She inspects a pimple on her chin in the nearly fogged-up mirror.
I wash shampoo out of my hair. “I’ll call youcoolevery damn day for the rest of our lives. Just focus on yourself for your deadline’s sake.” Partly, I’m happy she’ll be with me today—butit’s selfish. If she graduates Princeton and still hasn’t found a career path, she’ll refuse to take time for herself like she is now.
Jane will say,I’m wasting time on a fruitless search for a passion that may not even exist. My time is better spent doing charity work.
“Tomorrow, the next day, I will,” she says, but Jane’s overwhelming love of her family is her greatest asset and greatest weakness. I can’t predict whether that’ll ever change.
I finish rinsing my hair. Unsaid things start weighing on me. I grab a bar of soap next to facial scrub and razors. “Janie?” I wipe the mist off the shower glass again.
She curls a brunette strand. “Yeah?”
“I’m seeing someone,” I say, flat-out.
Jane startles, the iron slipping out of her grasp. Burning her wrist before thudding to the tiled floor. “Merde.”
I instantly crack open the shower door, ready to help, but she raises a hand likewait.Jane picks up the iron, sets it aside on the sink, and then runs her reddened wrist beneath the faucet.
I wait a couple seconds. Half-hidden behind the door. I don’t retreat or shut it.
When she rotates fully, Jane steeples her fingers to her pink lips. Blue eyes widened like saucers on me.
She’s in shock.
“It’s crazy,” I agree.
“It’s Farrow?” she guesses accurately. Maybe because of the massage that one time. Obviously, she sensed something between me and Farrow then. But it reminds me that I need to be more careful with Farrow.
No one can find out. Not unless wepurposefullytell them.
“Yeah,” I say. “It’s Farrow.”
“What changed?” she asks. “Wait, no—how long has this been going on? When did it start?” She begins to smile.
She’s smiling?
My eyes start burning, overwhelmed for a hot second. “Why are you smiling?”
“You’re risking so much by being with a bodyguard, and foryouto do that…you have to like him, truly. I just want you to be happy, Moffy. Isn’t that all we’ve ever wanted for each other?”
I nod a couple times.She’s happy for me.Despite the consequences and the colossal secret that she’ll have to keep—she’s happy for me.
While she cools her wrist beneath the faucet again, I tell her, “It hasn’t been long. We justofficiallyfucked last night.”
Her smile dimples her cheeks. “Remember when we were sixteen and you said that if you ever got head fromFarrow Redford Keene, you’d self-combust and need CPR and an ambulance?”
“Was that me?” I joke.
“Most surely.”
My lips hike up a fraction. “My sixteen-year-old virginal self would’ve needed a stretcher if Farrow gave me head back then?—”
A light knock raps the doorframe. Yeah, the door is wide,wideopen.
