“Are you alright?”she asked immediately.
“Yes, I'm just surprised,” I admitted, and that felt true enough.
“About what?That I didn't sleep with him?I tried, but he kept making excuses…” She continued, but I cut her off before she could finish.
“No, it's not that.It's just the whole situation,” I replied, heat flooding my cheeks.I was lying to her, or at least holding back the truth.I felt ashamed, but it was too late to confess; I should have said something sooner.
“Again, I'm sorry for how I overreacted.You know what they say—when one door closes, another handsome one opens.I'll be fine.I'm young and beautiful!”She leapt off my bed, spreading her arms wide with a bright smile that was contagious.I wish I had her confidence.I nodded, trying to suppress my guilt.“And how about you?Yesterday was so weird in the car with Marco,” she said, settling back beside me.
“Oh, it was okay.I guess I have to get used to it.I miss him, but more than that, I miss my friend,” I said, feeling a bit melancholic.
“Hey, I'm your friend!”she protested.
“Yes…” I conceded, and she pulled me into a warm hug.
“I guess we'll be spending more time together now that Emily is…” she raised an eyebrow.
“I suppose,” I nodded, and we talked some more.
“I need to go; my mom is almost here,” she said, glancing at her phone.I walked her to the door, and we exchanged goodbyes, feeling a little lighter.
After stepping into my room, a wave of warmth washed over me.An unfamiliar sensation began to settle in my stomach, twisting and turning.My heart raced, threatening to leap from my throat, and all I could see were Zane’s eyes reflected in the rearview mirror.
No matter how hard I tried to build a barrier around my emotions, he shattered it with just a single glance.I wondered how long I could keep up this façade before I ran out of strength.
The feeling was new, profound, and utterly confusing, leaving me uncertain about how to navigate it.I felt fear—fear of him, fear of myself, and fear of the unknown.The thought of him was rapidly consuming my mind, spreading like an infection for which I had no defense.There was no one I could confide in, no one who would comprehend what I was experiencing.Just then, my gaze landed on what might help…
Dear Diary...
Chapter 15
Ifound myself in the school's private restroom.Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, but I chose to ignore it.I took my time washing my hands, relishing the moment before grabbing the last paper towel to dry them off.
When I finally opened the door, I was taken aback.Zane stood there, his breath coming in quick bursts.Those piercing eyes of his were almost too much to bear.And then, in an unexpected move, he stepped closer, wrapped his left arm around my waist and gently cradled my neck with his right, pulling me back into the restroom.His lips met mine with an urgency that felt like he was trying to draw the very essence from me.It was intoxicating… oh, my.
“Luna,” a soft voice called out.I lifted my head to see Emily looking at me with wide eyes.“Did you fall asleep?”she asked, astonished.My mouth fell open in realization.It was all just a dream—my third one this week.“What's going on?Did you not sleep at all last night?”Emily murmured during our tedious math class.
“I did sleep, but I guess I didn't realize I was dozing off,” I replied, surprised by my own admission.
I felt like I was losing it.My mind was consumed with thoughts of Zane, even though he was entirely ignoring me, not even bothering to glance my way.I couldn't understand why he was acting like that.Yet, I kept telling myself it didn't matter.I didn't care.I.DIDN'T.CARE.I needed to redirect my focus to something else, maybe school.
Lately, I had been struggling to keep up, and that wasn't a good sign.Jessica had been spending numerous afternoons at my place, which meant I had fallen behind on my assignments.Emily and I only saw each other at school and on the bus since she had been hanging out with Marco more.
Jessica mentioned the other day that Emily and Marco slept together.I thought I would handle it okay, but it hurt.I wasn't jealous, not in that way.It was his first time, and that was a big deal.I always imagined it would be me.But I made my choice, and I didn't choose him.
My mom was finally back at her studio full-time.There were no more trips to Rome.She was swamped with holiday family sessions, but she usually made it home for dinner.Lately, we had been more connected than ever.
I also had another dinner with my dad; he looked good, and I could tell how much he had missed being home, how much he had missed my mom and me, our family.I wished things could return to how they used to be.I hoped my parents could talk things through and figure it out.
The bell had rang, prompting me to start packing my belongings.
“Where are you going?”Emily asked, her voice laced with surprise.
“What do you mean?To history class?”I replied, rising from my seat.Emily beamed at me.
“We have a class assembly.You didn't know?”
“Oh, I must have forgotten.”Truth be told, I was completely unaware of what day it was or that we had scheduled this assembly two weeks prior.“So, are we staying here?”I glanced around at my classmates, who were still chatting and not moving.Emily nodded.
