As I approached a cozy lounge area with two facing sofas and a few scattered chairs, I saw Zane sitting, leaning casually with his arm draped protectively around Jessica, who seemed to be nestled comfortably against him.A few other kids were sprawled out on the nearby sofa, clearly passed out from too many drinks.Jessica tried to say something, but her voice was lost to the music.I made a deliberate effort to avoid looking at Zane, pretending he wasn't even there.
Marco returned, beer in hand, and Jessica stood up to toast.I chugged the first half of my drink like it was nothing; I needed to unwind.And it worked.Ten minutes later, I found myself sinking into the groove of the music, head tilted back in bliss.Feeling the urge to dance, I jumped up and began to move, with Jessica quickly joining me.
In that moment, everything else faded away—there was just me, the beat, and a blissful absence of worries.We laughed and danced.I caught a glimpse of Marco chatting animatedly with a group of guys in the distance.It felt good to finally let loose.
But then, gosh… I felt it—Zane’s gaze boring into me, as if it were a tangible force.There was something unsettling yet thrilling about it.Was I actually enjoying this?
Eventually, fatigue settled in, and we decided to take a break.I averted my eyes, determined not to give Zane the satisfaction of locking gazes, leaning back on the sofa with my eyes closed.The music vibrated through my body.When I opened my eyes and lifted my head, I spotted Zane and Jessica locked in a passionate kiss.
She was utterly absorbed in him, and before I knew it, I was transfixed.I watched as he expertly maneuvered his tongue; the slow, rhythmic dance was mesmerizing.My mouth fell open slightly as I imagined being in Jessica’s place.I wondered how it would feel to kiss him.What would his lips taste like?Heat surged through me, leaving me breathless.
“Luna?”Marco’s voice broke my trance.He had noticed where my attention lay.I quickly shut my mouth and swallowed hard.
“I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought,” I replied too loudly, forcing a smile as I glanced at him, then quickly looked down to avoid giving anything away.
“Why were you staring at Zane?”
“I wasn't!I just… I told you, I was thinking about something else.”
“Hey Marco, come check this out!”A group of guys called him over, providing a much-needed escape from my embarrassment.
I couldn't bear to watch that moment any longer; his hands were moving on Jessica’s body, and suddenly a wave of nausea washed over me.I weaved through the crowd, desperate to escape the suffocating atmosphere.It felt like there was no air, like I was trapped in a sealed space devoid of oxygen.It was definitely too much beer.
I pushed my way through, stepping on toes as I fought to break free.Finally, I burst outside, inhaling deeply, filling my lungs with the crisp air.My sleeveless dress offered little warmth, but I welcomed the chill; it was far better than being inside.
When I turned back, I saw Marco approaching with my coat.
“Here, put this on.It's cold,” he said, his tone distant and unfamiliar.A lump formed in my throat, and I felt the urge to cry and scream.This marked the end for us—our final day as a couple.This was it—no more chances, no more saving what we had.We weren't kids anymore, and through our shared experiences, we had somehow drifted apart.
“I'm so sorry…” I murmured, lowering my gaze to hide my tears.He wrapped me in a comforting embrace, and we stood there in silence for a moment, lost in our thoughts.
“I'm sorry too.It's not just your fault; I share the blame too,” he replied, his voice quaking.
“No, it's not.You did everything I ever wanted…” I argued weakly.
“But it wasn't enough…” he added, and as I pulled back to meet his gaze.I wanted to protest, yet the naked truth was before us.It was more than enough for someone else, but somehow not for me.It was a constant yearning for something elusive or perhaps nonexistent.How long would this yearning continue before it killed me?
Marco drove me home, and it felt like the longest journey of my life.Memories from our childhood up until this moment rushed through my mind, each moment flashed before my eyes—the first kiss, that tender touch, the first stirrings of feelings between us—all packed away like treasures in a sealed box.
If we had been older, perhaps we would have navigated this differently, but we were still just kids, hungry to explore what life had to offer, or at least I was.I wasn't just losing my boyfriend; I was losing my friend.I had kept too many secrets from him, and it was evident.As I tried to look at him and memorize his features, my vision blurred with tears.
When we finally arrived, we sat in silence for twenty minutes, locked in each other's gaze.Our emotions spoke volumes where words failed.I sensed he wanted to say something, but the words never came.I had nothing left to say, no comfort to offer; I had already cried all my tears dry.Yet, I couldn't bring myself to exit the car.I just couldn't do it.
Did I ever imagine we'd break up?Yes, but I always thought it would be due to choosing different universities, not because he didn't want me when I offered.After several attempts, I finally managed to open the door and stepped out, and he followed me.One last hug enveloped us, so intense that I felt as if I might fade away.Just like that, I lost someone who had been a significant part of my life for so long.Here it was:loss number one.
I entered the house and closed the door behind me, sliding down to the floor as I listened to the fading sound of his car.A strange numbness washed over me; it was as if I had switched off my emotions.
The house was dark and empty.My dad hadn't waited for me as promised; it seemed no one was home.I stood up and made my way to the kitchen, groping in the dark for a glass of water.I had left my boots by the entrance and slowly climbed the stairs.
Suddenly, I heard an odd noise.My parents’ bedroom door was slightly ajar, and as I approached cautiously, the sound grew louder.
“Mom, Dad?”I called softly.Silence.“Is everything okay?”I asked, raising my voice a little.Still no answer.I stood at the door, my heart pounding, and gently pushed it open with my right hand.Something felt off.The door swung wide, revealing the glow of the full moon illuminating a figure sitting on the bed.As I drew closer, I saw my mom, sobbing, her eyes vacant.
“Mom?”I stepped forward.
“He's gone,” she said, her voice trembling.
“What do you mean?Who's gone?”I asked, my voice rising in confusion.
