“No,” I say, my eyes following every flicker of movement from him. “I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. I promise, I wasn’t—I wouldn’t—not right now.”
“Maybe we moved too fast,” he mutters.
“No,” I say, but I’m not sure if I’m being selfish or not. I’m more bear than human now, and I’m sure I’m only thinking with sex brain right now.
I watch him, waiting for a hint of hesitation, anger, or desire. I almost bit him. I almost tried to mate him. He should be beyond mad, and yet he’s stock-still. He’s here, but he’s not, and I’m the world’s biggest jerk.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he says, and he smiles. At least he tries to. He turns around, heading for the bathroom, and he comes back with a rag and cleans me in silence.
But I know it’s not okay. I know that my instinct to bite, to mate, him will throw us off course. It confuses me as much as it probably does him, and I have no idea what this means moving forward.
And even worse, this never happened with Milo.
16
WILLOW
“Did you put on the kettle?”Eddie asks as he comes back in, deliciously shirtless, and sets my mail on the table as he goes over to check what’s in the fridge.
The light blue envelope instantly catches my eye. My constantly sweaty hands damage the paper as I pick up the envelope in my hands. I already know what’s inside. My mother gave me a heads-up that it was coming.
I rip open the envelope to my sister’s mating ceremony invitation. I pull out a photo of my sister and her soon-to-be mate smiling back at me with the date, time, and RSVP number. I’m going, of course. I’ve spoken to my sister and mother about attending; they brought it up on my visit when my father was sick, but I honestly thought my sister wouldn’t invite me. Maybe she’d forget to send the invitation, or maybe it’d get lost in the mail. Not receiving the invitation was going to be my escape from going. I love my sister, and I wish I could support her and be happy for her as a normal sister would, but we weren’t normal. Not when she was just as cold and callous over my reaction to Milo’s death as everyone else was.
“What’s that?” Eddie asks as he plops down in the kitchen chair next to me. He nods his head towards the white cardstock bending at the mercy of my fingertips.
“An invitation to my sister’s mating ceremony.” I watch as he sets a cut up apple and a tub of peanut butter in front of me. He has one, too, but doesn’t start to eat. I don’t either. Turning to face him, I force out a strangled breath. Am I actually going to ask him to come to my sister’s wedding? I want to. I know in my gut that we aren’t cool or good, or I don’t know. I had the urge to mate him, and we haven’t gone over it since it happened over an hour ago, and I’m terrified to bring it up.
And that’s not the only problem in asking him to go with me. Would he care that everyone will know he’s not my mate? I don’t... wanna go without him. The pounding in my ears gets louder as each second ticks on. Word vomit builds in my chest and rushes up to my lips. “Want to be my plus one?”
Can he hear my heart beating violently, or is it only me?
“I get to meet the family?” He smiles, and this smile is much more what I’m used to than the smile he tried to give me earlier. This is the Eddie I’m used to.
“I mean, if you don’t want to—” I try to give him a way out, maybe he’s actually mad but hiding it from me. Why would he want to go on a date with such a hot mess? I’m so broken and selfish, I can’t even understand why I even asked him to go with me.
“Of course I want to go.” He cuts off my excuse and holds eye contact. It’s forceful yet comforting, and I can’t help but stare. “I hope we’re on the same page. It’s not that I don’t want you to mark me. I want that more than you know, but I don’t think you’re—we’re—ready for that yet. I want to get to know you more before I know if we’re true soul mates,” he says. I know what he’s really saying, though. If I bite him, and the bite doesn’t take, then this stops. We’re not ready for this to stop. I’m not.
Oh, Eddie. Why couldn’t I have met you first?
“I mean, if you don’t want to go, if it’s too weird or uncomfor?—”
“I wanna go,” he says with a confidence that leaves no room for questioning or doubt on my end, and I think that’s just what I need. He is so sure of everything and himself, and, goddess, do I wish I could have even a sliver of that security.
“Then let’s go together,” I confirm, my cheeks burning. I want to let Eddie in, and as awkward as this is now, hopefully, it’ll be less and less so the more I practice letting people in.
“We’ll go together, Buttercup.”
“Would showing up as my date make you uncomfortable? What if people talk?” Namely, my family, or the Barrow family. I can take their words made of swords, but I couldn’t stand Eddie taking their hits too.
“All the more reason to go.” He shrugs, as if it’s no big deal.
If he’s sure, if he’s confident, then I will be too. “I would be pleased if you could come with me.”
“Willow Buttercup, are you asking me on a date?”
“Yes, I am, Eddie Enchanted. Do you accept it?”
