She along with the other women led Fatima away. I fought the urge to follow after her as Brexl followed after Taylor and Rhaz after Beatrice, but I stayed put. As much as I wanted to be near Fatima, she would need her space to process and grieve. A lot had happened over the last day cycle. She was in good hands with the other human females. They would take care of her. If not, I would step in and make sure all her needs were met.
Chapter 4
Fatima
CW: talk of babies and pregnancy
The next month went by in a blur. Sarah, Talia, Hai, and myself all lived together in one of the larger abandoned cabins in the valley. It was cozy.
I was settling into life here. The vibes were a bit different, but not in a bad way. In the mountain we stayed connected to one another because of the shared space, here we stayed connected through shared meals, and group activities like sewing, weaving, and harvesting fruit from the trees that produced well into the winter.
All of the mated couples had their own little houses along the main path and we’d often gather at the large house Dameron used to live in. Drondia told me it was never meant to house just one family. It was build to be used by the entire community.
Life was good. There were a few people from the old dekes who bristled at all of us newcomers, but for the most part, everything was very calm here.
Zander left on a long hunting trip the dayafter he rescued me. It was harder to find wild game in the winter so all the hunters had to go further out to find food, but none of them had stayed away as long as Zander had. It made me wonder if he was avoiding me. He had looked at me with such longing before I luminessed for Drelic. Maybe he felt differently now that I had mated with another male. Either way my dream of having a luminescence mate, or any mate at all for that matter, was long dead. Why would anyone want me now? I couldn’t glow for anyone.
I hated to admit it, but I wasn’t sad that Drelic had died. I believe, over time, we could have made things work, but things had started off so badly for us, it left little room for grief.
I felt far more heartbreak over the loss of ever having a luminescence mate than losing Drelic. I wanted to have one baby. Just one little one to take care of, but even that dream had begun to fade with each passing day.
The other women had shown signs of pregnancy as early as three weeks. I was in my fourth week, and still nothing. The one good thing that could have come out of my night with Drelic would have been a baby, but it seemed even that was too much to ask.
“Good morning, everyone,” Gabby announced as she walked in with Tabby on her hip.
She’d been checking in with me most mornings. None of us humans had experienced the death of a mate but me. Unfortunately, that meant they were treating me as if I were made of glass.Now, four weeks later, people were finally checking in on me less and treating me more like they did before, which was really all I wanted.
“Good morning,” I smiled at her and Tabby, who was arguably the happiest baby in the world. She was so cute with her brown skin, curly black hair, and little horn nubs on top of her head.
“A group of us were going to knit together in the meeting house after lunch, we’d love to have you join us.”
“I’d love that,” Sarah chimed in.
“Sure I’m down,” Talia added.
“I’ll be there too,” I nodded with a smile.
“I’m spinning yarn with Drondia today, but I’ll catch you next time,” Hai informed us.
“What are we doing?” Julie asked as she walked through the door. She was holding Marcelo in her arms. He looked like a mini Orsu and was nothing but smiles.
“We’re going to knit together after lunch,” Gabby informed her. I’m running low on winter clothes and it feels like it goes faster when we’re all together.
“I should ask Kayla if she wants to join us,” Julie suggested. “She’s been so miserable lately.”
“Thankfully, she’s just got a few more weeks left to go,” Hai sighed. “But I have a feeling her baby might come early. There’s only so much her body can take.”
“How’s Taylor holding up?” I asked. With so many women pregnant at once, it was easy to see how pregnancy effected everyone differently. Kayla was always tired and spent most of her time at home. Taylor on the other hand, seemed to have the same amount of energy as she did before.
“She looked fine to me this morning,” Gabby commented. “I saw her and Brexl walking together to get breakfast.”
All this talk of babies was a stark reminder that I might be the only woman in our group who won’t have one.
“I’ll see you this afternoon,” I bid everyone goodbye as I made my way to the door. I needed to get away, and take a moment for myself.
Once outside, I stopped and inhaled a deep breath of the crisp winter air. I had hoped it would clear the sadness frommy heart, but instead I got a whiff of someone cooking fish and immediately felt ill.
“Oh god,” I moaned as I put a hand over my mouth. A wave of nausea hit me like nothing I’d ever experienced before and I found myself running to a nearby bush.
