If I stayed with him now, I’d become dependent on him, and I couldn’t have that. What would happen after the baby was born? He wouldn’t let us both stay would he? Would he really want to put up with a newborn crying at all hours of the night?
“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll stay at my place for now,” I said in a somber tone.
“I understand,” Zander replied and carried me the rest of the way to my house.
Once inside, the stark differences between his place and mine began to stand out. It was cold and dark in here, and I had about half the amount of furs to sleep on as he did. I’d enjoyed that nap I’d take in his bed far too much, and I was going to miss the softness of it tonight.
I looked over at the fireplace and sighed when I realized I hadn’t gathered any firewood yet. Back at the shared house, Talia and Sarah took care of that chore, but here I’d have to do it on my own.
Zander set me down and frowned when he saw my lack of firewood as well.
“I’ll be right back,” he huffed out in his bossy voice right before he walked out the door.
“You don’t need-” I tried to call out after him but I knew it was no use.
A moment later Zander returned with his arms filled with nicely chopped logs that stacked neatly next to the fireplace.
He put a few logs on the cold ashes and I watched in amazement as his arm lit up with flames for the second time today.
He palmed one of the logs until it caught fire and set it down beneath the rest. Soon all three logs were burning, providing a nice amount of warmth to the little cabin.
Zander stood and started to inspect the walls and the ceiling.
“I already looked everything over,” I protested.
He gave me a noncommittal grunt and continued his inspection.
“You’re roof needs more dried reeds,” he commented.
All the houses in the valley had thatched roofs, and I had noticed mine was a little thin, but it was better than the other houses I had to choose from.
“I will fix it tomorrow,” he stated as if the plan had been set in stone.
“No you will not,” I corrected him. “You’ve done enough, and while I appreciate your help, I’m also an adult who can take care of herself.”
“I never said you couldn’t,” he replied.
“Great! Then we’re in agreement.”
“You don’t have to do everything on your own,” he frowned down at me.
His words hit me like daggers to the chest. His statement was so simple and yet so earth shattering at the same time. Because Ididhave to do everything on my own. That’s how its always been. I had hoped that luminescence would change that, but now that option was gone. I’d made it this far by trusting me, myself, and I, and I would continue on doing so.
Zander was wrong. I did need to do it on my own. He was here right now, but without luminescence I had no way of knowing if he’d be here down the road.
He was a kind male but I was sure that after his first night helping me tend to another man’s newborn, he’d be running for the hills.
“Good night, Zander. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I tried and failed to keep the bite out of my tone.
A flash of confusion crossed his face but he did not comment on it. Instead he turned around and walked out the door.
I watched his broad back as he walked away and wiped a tear that had escaped down my face.You don’t have to do everything on your own. His words rang through my head like a sad melody.
“Come back,” I whispered as he walked down the path, too far away to hear me. I had sent him away, but now I regretted it. I wanted this baby. I always had, but I didn’t want to do this alone.
“It’s for the best,” I told myself as I turned back toward the fire, and tried not to think about how wrong that statement felt.
Chapter 9
