“Then she might truly be gone.” My mother commented, looking more worried now than before.
I couldn’t hear her, but there was no way she could be gone. There was nowhere to go. Her only option would be the forest... By the goddess, if she wasn’t here, she’d be out there, and it was getting dark.
I ran to every room in the mountain and my heart sank with each empty cave I found.
I finally caught her scent. It was old, but I was still able to follow it. She’d gone from her furs to theclearing and...her scent kept going into the forest.
I ran back inside to find everyone had gathered again in the cavern.
“She’s not here. We checked everywhere.”
I gritted my teeth against the pain of hearing multiple people talking at once in an enclosed space. It was too loud, but I stayed put hoping that I was wrong, hoping that someone would report back that they’d found her. When no one did I spoke up.
“She’s gone into the forest. I tracked her scent there.”
A silence filled the room.
“God damn it!” Gab-bae swore. “I knew I should have checked on her. She looked too happy.”
“I will search for her.” I volunteered. “Her scent is old, but I can still track it.”
Tarak nodded his head in agreement. “Good luck, my friend. May the goddess bless your search.”
I grabbed my pack and headed to the clearing. I picked up her scent on a well-worn trail and followed it. At least the trail she chose was an easy one. She’d be less likely to get lost. Unless some forest beast had already gotten to her, of course. Many were hibernating, but there were still a few that prowled the forest in search of food.
With that thought haunting my every step, I picked up my pace. I needed to find Ashley, and I needed to find her soon.
Chapter 5
Ashley
I made it! I did a little happy dance as I stepped off the ladder and climbed down the slope into the kala.
It had been a long walk, but it was worth it to finally be alone. I set my pack down against the wall and held my face up to the sun as I twirled around, being as silly as I wanted because no one else was around.
It seemed bigger now than before, but there were a lot of people here filling the space before. I remember standing right here when we were larping and being so happy that Axon let me slip by to get to their flag. Lumod took me down before I could, of course, but I didn’t mind. I was happy. I thought Axon was flirting with me, but now, as I looked back on that moment, I had to wonder if he was just trying to avoid touching me.
I was tempted to push those thoughts away, but I came out here specifically to think things through.
I didn’t want to start processing how I feel about Axon, though. I had bigger fish to fry.
I started to walk back and forth, pacing the space at a leisurely pace.
“Soooo I’m asexual.” I said out loud to no one but myself.
“How do I feel about that?”
I took a deep breath and pondered that question.
“I feel....fine.” I liked myself before I knew not thinking about sex wasn’t the average experience, and I liked myself just as much now that I knew the truth.
I paced the space again.
“Being ace isn’t really good or bad, it’s just different. It’s just a part of me. I just so happen to be a woman who isn’t very interested in sex. Well, except for once a month when I’m ovulating.
I did miss my period tracker calendar. I deleted my app because it didn’t feel safe given the current political climate. I taught myself how to track my period the old-fashioned way on a paper calendar.
I could start a tracking calendar here, but I haven’t had a period since we crashed. I think the stress of the whole situation along with adjusting to a completely new way of life, had caused my body to shut down that process for a while. I hadn’t had sex for over a year, so I knew I couldn’t be pregnant, either.
