I squeezed my mate's hand and kissed her cheek, both because I couldn’t get enough of her but also to remind myself that I was not alone in this. Ashley was with me. Whatever the truth may be, we will face it together. That thought settled me and the anxiety that had been clamoring at my throat.
I wanted to know the truth, but at this moment I was angry that I was lied to at all. I shouldn’t have to be doing this. I shouldn’t have to be risking mine and Ashley’s lives to visit the priestess to demand answers. I shouldn’t be feeling anxious about my whole life being turned upside down. None of thisshouldbe happening, but here we are seeking out the truth that we should have been given from day one.
Agitation rolled off my skin in waves, which I assumed would only get worse once we arrived at Rhaz's cave. It took me nearly a year to get my cave the way I liked it and I knew Rhaz well enough to know he didn’t provide himself with nearly the same level of comfort that I provided myself. He, of course, couldn’t hear the sounds of the forest as keenly as I did, so I was sure the sounds of his cave didn’t bother him as much as I knew they would bother me.
“How are you holding up?” Ashley pulled me out of my thoughts.
“I’m...” I thought about my answer for a moment. “I’m scared I’m about to jump from one cliff to another, but I can’t see what’s on the other side or, even if I can make the jump.”
Even if the ship doesn’t belong to my people, I feel like this revelation has shifted something inside me that had been creeping its way through my soul for a long time. I’ve never felt the same devotion to the goddess as the others, and perhaps that’s because I don’t feel a need for her forgiveness like they do. But a part of me fears that even if the truth reveals that no lies were ever told, I don’t want to go back to believing in the goddess like I had been.
I felt connected to the forest, to the animals, to Ashley even, but not to the goddess. I never have.
I looked over at Ashley, whose shoulders had slumped slightly with our long walk. I could tellthat she was trying her best to not look tired, but unfortunately for her, I knew her every sound, every movement, and every expression. I knew when she looked tired and when she didn’t, and right now she looked very tired.
It was growing dark, and we weren’t far from the cave. Ashley had walked far enough on her own. It was time for me to carry her even, though I knew she’d protest.
“You’re tired,” I commented.
“No,” she shook her head and straightened her back. “I feel fine. You said it’s not very far from here, right?”
“I did, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve walked very far already, and that despite your best efforts to look otherwise, you are tired.”
Ashley looked up at me with a pitiful frown. “I don’t like that you can see through me so easily.”
I barked out a laugh. “I’m glad that I can. You humans are so stubborn. Why is it that you all take so long to accept our help?”
Ashley shrugged her shoulders. “To need help is to be vulnerable. On our planet, it’s better to lie and appear strong than to be honest and be taken advantage of.”
I shook my head. “Barbaric.”
“Yeah, we are good at pretending to be civilized, but after living here, it’s clear to me that it was just an appearance.”
“Well, I say you’ve walked far enough. Hop on.”
I got down on one knee and patted my back, encouraging Ashley to get on.
She looked at my back and nervously chewed her bottom lip.
“I don’t know, Axon. I’m pretty heavy.”
“Maybe to earth males you are heavy, but to me you are perfect. Your weight will be no issue.”
Ashley looked at me again and started chewing a fingernail, but made no move toward me.
“I will carry you in my arms if I must,” I hedged.
“What if you shifted?”
“You want me to carry you while shifted?”
“Yeah, you seem bigger when you’re shifted. Won’t it be easier to carry me on your back in your spider form?”
“It will be easy either way,” I argued with my hands on my hips to show my mate that I was very serious about this. “But if it makes you feel better to ride on me while shifted, we can do that instead.”
I stretched into my spider form and lowered my large abdomen to the ground.
Ashley tentatively approached me, still chewing her bottom lip.
