Ashley looked surprised by my answer, as if she were anticipating a more negative response, which made no sense to me. If I were ever lucky enough to be mated to Ashley, I would be happy to just sit in her presence. I just wanted to live life with her, experience everything this world had to offer together, and if she only wanted sex once a month, I would look forward to it for what it was, the most amazing gift in the galaxy.
“Well...” she looked nervous again. “I’m waiting for luminescence to be mated, and I’m worried that once I glow for someone, and they find out that I’m not interested in having sex, they’ll be disappointed with me.”
As soon as I heard her words, my skin started to itch and my exoskeleton started to rise to the surface. The idea of Ashley being mated to someone else immediately set me on edge, and the very idea of them not being grateful for the mere fact of being claimed by her made me want to fight something.
“If any of the males in our dekes dare to make you feel less than because you do not wish to mate with them, you bring them to me,” I growled.
I clenched my fists and tried to calm myself through some deep breathing.
“I appreciate that, but luminescence is a bond for life. I don’t want to be bound to an unhappy relationship. I’ll have to work out some kind of compromise with my mate. Maybe I can learn to be okay with having sex once a week instead of once amonth, and they’ll become accustomed to having less sex than they want.”
“NO!” I shouted. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“You will not compromise for anyone. Luminescence or not, you deserve to be in a happy mating. You deserve to be with someone who won’t require more of you than what you are able to give.”
I was pacing the room now. My exoskeleton covered my arms and hands and I had a strong urge to shift the rest of the way. I wanted to fight whomever this person might be who would dare to be disappointed with being mated to Ashley.
“If his needs are so great, then he can take himself in hand every night while thinking of you.”
I stopped pacing and looked her in the eyes as I spoke through gritted teeth. “Any male who has the pleasure of seeing you naked in the furs, should not need anything more than to simply remember your beauty to find his release.”
“Axon, I just don’t think that’s realistic. I-”
“It is! I know that’s all I would need to come apart.”
Ashley stood there wide-eyed in stunned silence.
“I...thank you.” She chewed her lip and looked down at the ground. Then she furrowed her brows as an aggravated expression spread across her face.
“I hope I end up with someone who won’trequire me to compromise, but I need advice for what to do if I’m paired with someone who wants to have sex all the time, like all the other mated couples do. I understand that might not be the case, but I have to be realistic.”
She had a point. We could not control luminescence, and while my solution would be to beat some sense into whomever she’d be mated to, that wasn’t a long-term plan.
“Okay, I’ll help you think of ideas,” I relented. I needed to figure out how to coax luminescence into happening for us. That would be the best solution for us both. Ashley would never have to compromise with me.
“Thanks, I appreciate your help,” the corners of her mouth turned up in a soft smile.
I was feeling heavy-hearted as we walked back to the main cavern. I didn’t like thinking about Ashley being with anyone else, and I especially didn’t like the idea of her compromising her sexual wants or needs. This all felt wrong.
Chapter 11
Ashley
I thought about what Axon had said as we walked back to the main cave. It was nice, validating even, that he got so angry on my behalf. I’d love to be mated to someone with his mindset, but that wasn’t a guarantee.
What he said about me lying naked in the furs took me by surprise. I didn’t realize he found me so attractive. I understood now that he liked my touch, but I thought it ended there. It seemed he might like me as much as I like him, but that didn’t change the fact that I still wanted to wait for luminescence.
I wouldn’t over complicate things by having an ex-boyfriend in our very small community. If Axon and I got together and he liked me for me, and was fully content with my ace sexuality, I would not be able to handle luminesing to someone else who might feel differently. I would undoubtedly lay awake every night wishing I was lying in bed next to Axon instead. A pit settled in the bottom of my stomach at that thought.
My stomach rumbled as soon as we got to the main cavern. It was a long walk to the crystal cave andif it weren’t so cloudy, I’m sure the sun would be high in the sky.
“I’ll make us lunch,” Axon offered.
“I can help. What were you planning to make?”
“I thought we could have some meat and vegetable soup. I have some tubers I gathered a few days ago in that basket. You want to cut those while I cut the meat?”
“Sure. That sounds like a good plan,” I agreed and grabbed a bone knife.
