A tear streamed down his face, and I wiped it away.
“In order to survive on this planet, you need a blessing from the goddess, the ability to face down any beast that comes your way and survive. Where you see a monster, I see a gift.”
I cupped his face in my hands and turned his attention back to me. “You are not responsible for the death of your parents, but you are good at killing. It is a gift that you can walk in the forest and not be afraid. You were built to thrive on this planet while everyone else is barely able to survive. You, above all others, have been blessed with your shifter form. The goddess loved you enough to even protect your handsome face.”
A soft sob escaped Brexl as he placed his hands on mine.
“I want to believe that,” he whispered.
“You will, but it might take time,” I admitted.
“Look at your reflection again,” I requested, and he did as I asked.
“Repeat after me. I am not a monster.”
“I...I can’t say that.” His words were wet with tears that squeezed my heart. I could see on his face that he wanted to say it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so.
“Then tonight, let me say it for you.”
“Okay,” he gave me a weak smile, and I was happy to see a glimmer of joy come back to his face.
“I am not a monster,” I repeated as Brexl looked at his reflection.
Then I said the phrase again. “I am not a monster.”
A tear fell into the water, making it ripple. I waited for it to clear and repeated the statement again, but this time Brexl mouthed the words as I said them.
“I am not a monster.”
Over and over, I spoke this phrase while Brexl mouthed the words. One day he’d be able to say them for himself, but for tonight, I was happy to be his voice. Just like he’d protected my body over and over again, I would protect his soul.
Chapter 24
Brexl
I got up on shaky legs from the chair and leaned on Taylor as she helped me to the furs. I felt lighter than I had in a long time, but also more tired and spent than ever before as well.
It had never crossed my mind that Taylor didn’t think I was a monster. I had never seen myself as anything else. I’d definitely never seen my ability to kill and survive as a gift, but Taylor’s words were still echoing in my soul and I had hope that one day I’d believe them.
I did not protest as Taylor laid her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, and for the first time I felt like I must just be worthy of such affection.
Brexl
I woke the next morning feeling much lighter than before. Having Taylor speak the words I could not was an intense but meaningful moment. As I stared at my reflection, I tried to focuson what she said, the tone of her voice, and how she saw me, not how I’d always seen myself. It felt healing, which was oddly painful at first, but once the self-loathing I’d held onto for so long finally cracked, hope and joy started to trickle into places in my soul that had previously only been filled with darkness.
I did not feel as broken as I did before, but I didn’t feel whole either. I felt uncomfortably happy, hopeful even.
Taylor snored quietly as she laid on my chest. It was nice falling asleep with her already there. I liked it. I wanted to have her with me every night for all my days.
She’d said she had lost herself in every relationship she’d ever been in. Did she feel that way with me?
Today was the day of Valentine. If there was ever a time to show Taylor how much I liked her, it was now.
After breakfast, I’d fill our room with flowers. We would do the Valentine activities together, and then eat dinner in the clearing where I would tell her again and again that I don’t ever want her to change. Why change perfection?
“Mmm,” Taylor stretched before opening her eyes.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she said as she smiled up at me. I was drawn to the curve of her lips. They looked so soft. Was it a normal greeting to kiss your mate awake? Would Taylor like that?
