That made him stop what he was doing and pull away from me.
“I…” he furrowed his brow and looked away. “You should not.”
Brexl got up and helped me to my feet. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
As he walked away, I found myself wondering what the hell just happened.
Chapter 23
Brexl
I stomped back out to the forest, feeling angry and confused. Why would she say that? I knew she cared for me as a friend, but the way she looked at me when she said what she did... It felt like it went beyond friendship.
I was once again regretting my decision to cut her off when she first tried to explain why she didn’t want me as a mate. Had she changed her mind?
She shouldn’t have. Whatever her reason was for not wanting me as a mate, needed to stay in place. I was not worthy of Taylor. I was cursed. We might be friends, and she may have convinced me that I was worth caring for, but I was still a monster that was only good for killing. That had not changed. She must see that.
She didn’t want me as a mate because I was a monster and that was that. There was nothing else to it.
I bristled as I saw the other couples laughing and enjoying each other’s company as they helped set up for tomorrow. I wanted that for Taylor. She deserved that kind of happiness.
She’s happy with you. A small voice whispered inside my head.
“Ugh!” I grunted aloud as I ran down a hunting trail with no real purpose in mind. I wanted to run away from these conflicting feelings inside me, but I’d settle for running throughthe forest instead. I shifted into my monstrous form and kept running until I reached a quiet river.
Nothing disturbed the water. There wasn’t even a ripple on the surface. I peered over the edge and got a good look at myself. I had bone plating that covered and protected my eyes and went all the way up to my horns. A bone plate covered my blue chest, and bone spikes lined the backs of my arms.
My claws extended out to the size of talons and my bone-plated tail was lethal with the spikes that covered it from base to tip.
“Monster,” I muttered to myself.
To my right I saw the reflection of another beast entering the riverbank. It was a jagwa with its fangs bared. Then another emerged from the treeline and then another. Three of them against one of me. That was alright. I was made for killing, wasn’t I?
I turned slowly to face them, each of them growling and digging their claws into the dirt.
I struck first, taking the first one down easily by sinking my claws into its neck. The second one jumped on my side. I could hear its claws clattering against my bone plating as it tried to injure me in any way it could. Turning, I struck it down with my bone spikes.
The third one did manage to make contact with my flesh. It scratched me on my side before I could turn and do the same. We battled each other for a long while, this one being the strongest of the three. But eventually, I came out victorious.
Panting, I made my way back to the river where I cleaned myself of the sweat and blood that marred my body, but before I did, I looked down and saw my reflection again. What was capable of taking down a pack of jagwas? A monster, and I certainly was one.
Taylor
CW: conversations about dying in childbirth and suicide
Where was he? I hadn’t seen Brexl since this afternoon when we ran into each other in the hallway. Was he out hunting? Was he mad because of what I said earlier?
Maybe telling him I liked him was too close to what a mate would say. He didn’t want a mate, and I needed to remember that. My hope of being friends with benefits was all but shattered now. I know he enjoyed our kissing lessons as much as I did, but it was getting too hard for me to keep my feelings out of the equation. Maybe this fake mating business had run its course.
I had thought of a few excuses as to why I should stay with Brexl and continue our facade, but now it was time to face reality. I needed to start thinking of a believable cover story for our breakup, or at least a good reason why we weren’t living together anymore.
With a sigh, I got up from dinner and put my dishes in the dirty dish barrel and headed back to our cave, no not our cave, Brexl’s cave, alone.
I had just put my nightgown on when I heard the curtain door open.
Brexl walked in looking wet and tired like he’d just taken a shower.
“Hey.” I gave him a small smile and a wave.
