“I’m going to go clean up,” I said as I grabbed my underwear and headed for the nearby cave where everyone did their business. There were multiple holes in the floor that led deep into the mountain. It wasn’t the best bathroom set up, but it wasn’t the worst either.
I relieved myself, cleaned up, and headed back to our cave. Once there, I slipped into bed next to Brexl.
We automatically went to our separate sides of the bed, which suddenly felt silly to me. We were more than used to each other by now, and I always ended up sleeping on his chest, anyway.
“Would you be interested in starting out the night cuddling instead of just ending up that way?” I asked as I propped myself up on my elbow.
The room was silent for a long moment before Brexl answered, “If that is what you wish.”
If that was what I wished?What kind of answer was that? Did he not want me to cuddle with him?
“Would you prefer that I not cuddle with you? Should I stay away if you’re having a nightmare?”
“No!” He blurted out. “I want you close to me. I like waking up to find you on my chest, but you do not have to touch me if you do not wish to.”
“What if I want to?”
Had it not occurred to him that I would want to cuddle with him? I loved being in his arms and I loved that somehow having the pressure of my body on his chest prevented him from having nightmares. I was like his weighted blanket, and it was nice.
I could hear him swallow hard before he answered. “Then I would like that, too.”
Taylor
The next morning I woke feeling relaxed and refreshed. I wasn’t ready to move yet, though. Maybe if I stayed very still, Brexl might think I was still asleep, and I’d get to lie here a bit longer.
Bump-da-bump-da-bump. His heartbeat was a soothing sound in my ear. He seemed relaxed, too. He hadn’t mumbled in his sleep at all last night, which meant the nightmares that usually haunted him had stayed away.
I liked this. I liked Brexl. What I didn’t like was the idea of us parting ways. I told him I would think of a cover story that would make sense for us to separate, but I was tempted to think of excuses to stay instead.
Maybe it would make more sense for this pretend mating to become permanent. If Brexl didn’t want a mate, maybe he wouldn’t mind be friends with benefits instead.
Why doesn’t he want a mate? I’d never thought to ask him before. I’d been so consumed with the fear of repeating my past mistakes that I hadn’t even considered what his reasons might be.
I’d have to ask him some time, but not right now. It was too early for such heavy conversations.
I opened one eye and found Brexl lying down with his eyes closed, but smiling. He was awake. He probably knew I was pretending to be asleep this whole time.
“Good morning.” I said as I sat up and stretched.
“Good morning,” He sat up as well and wiped the sleep from his eyes.
“Should we get up and get some breakfast?” I asked. “I have a feeling Gabby is going to be putting us to work today.”
“That sounds good to me. I am ready to eat and to work.”
We got dressed and Brexl offered to brush my hair and I’d offered to braid his. It was a sweet moment between us, almost like a vision of what we could have if only we’d reach out and grab it.
He was slow and gentle with the brush, going over my hair again and again until it was perfectly shiny, and I loved running my fingers through his thick hair as I gave him one long braid down his back.
Once we were finished, he held out his hand for me and we walked together to the cook fire.
Everyone was so excited about setting up for Valentine’s day that breakfast was a bit rushed. Before I knew it I was outside helping set up the miniature golf course.
“This is going to be so much fun!” Sarah cheered as she put down another woven mat that made up our course.
Drovo helped us by making wooden putter golf clubs, and I was digging holes and planting small flag poles in the ground to mark where to aim the balls.
“Mmhmm,” Ashley mumbled as she set down another woven mat. She was usually the outgoing, bubbly one of the group, but lately she’d been so quiet and reclusive.
