There was so much more to Brexl than just protecting the group. He was kind and sweet, and had amazing dry humor. He was a great person to be around. I enjoyed my time with him over the past week, pretending to be mates. It was nice to live the fantasy for a little while, even if we were bad at it. I liked being held by him and sitting on his lap as we ate dinner. I even liked defending him against Dameron after we luminesed. If the rest of the dekes hadn’t stepped up, I would have proudly stayed by Brexl’s side till the end.
I finished gathering my mushrooms, nuts, berries, and potato like tubers, and headed back to the cave.
There was movement in the trees ahead of me, so I proceeded with caution, but in the end, there nothing was there. At least that’s what I thought until I made it back to the beach to find Brexl cooking a small animal over an open fire.
“Where did you get that?” I asked stomping my foot, doing my best to rein in my frustration.
“It wandered into the cave,” Brexl murmured without looking up at me.
“Liar.” I tapped my foot on the sand, waiting for the real answer.
When he didn’t provide any further information, I pressed on. “Were you following me?”
“No,” he frowned, but kept his eyes trained on the meat he was cooking, refusing to look my way.
“You’re such a bad liar, and you’re a bad patient too.”
I sat down next to him and dropped my satchel of foraged food in his lap.
“Thank you.” he bowed his head in gratitude for the food.
“Don’t thank me yet. I’m going to re-wrap your bandage and check your gash, which is probably going to hurt like a bitch.”
“You may do what you think is necessary,” Brexl said still looking like a sad puppy.
“I’m about to do a lot more than what’s necessary if you keep disobeying me.”
I grabbed a tuber from the bag and set it down on the boulder next to me. Then I pulled out my knife to start cutting it up so it’d cook faster over the fire.
“I can do that.” Brexl reached for my knife and I slapped his hand.
“Ouch,” he said as he flinched away.
“If you try to do one more thing, I’m going to tie you up so you’ll have no choice but to lie still and rest.”
“Why is it so important to you that I rest?” Brexl asked as he rubbed his hand.
“Becauseyou’reimportant to me! Your health is important to me! We might not be mates, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy and healthy.”
Brexl furrowed his brows in that adorable way that he does when he’s confused.
“I am happy,” he admitted.
“No, you’re not,” I argued.
That won me a smile.
“I’m not?” He asked with an amused look on his face.
“No, you’re not. Happy people don’t put themselves last. Happy people take care of themselves and rest when they’re injured.”
He looked at the ground as he mulled over this.
“I’ll rest if you let me go with you when you forage for food again.”
“Brexl, that’s not resting.”
“It can be. I’ll sit and watch out for predators while you work.” He looked at me with such intensely hopeful eyes that it nearly ripped my heart out. I’d never wanted for someone to care about themselves as much as I wanted Brexl to. I didn’t just want Brexl to care for himself, I longed for it. I longed for him to see himself as worthy of care and rest and happiness.
