It was dark in our little shelter so I couldn’t see Taylor’s face, but I could tell from her tone of voice she was being serious.
“Why do people keep asking me if I like him?” I asked in an exasperated huff.
“I’ve seen you glance at him a time or two when he’s not looking. You seemed nearly transfixed by hisbackside today as he led Jelly in front of us,” she teased.
“I wasn’t staring at his backside,” I argued. “I was simply looking ahead.”
“Right,” she drew out the word in a doubtful tone.
“So you don’t like him,” Taylor continued to poke at the subject, and I could tell she wasn’t going to let it go until I gave her a definitive answer.
“I used to like him, back when I thought he liked me, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.” I whispered in a low tone to ensure the males with their enhanced hearing couldn’t listen in.
“He took so long with this chariot and then he admitted that it hadn’t been a priority to him. So no, I don’t think he likes me.”
I thought about how obvious Tarak and Orsu were about making Gabby and Julie their priorities. That was the sirret way, wasn’t it? If they liked someone, they made it obvious. They couldn’t help themselves. Even Brexl, in all his shyness, still went out of his way to say a kind word to Taylor every once in a while.
“I know he looks like he’s flirting with me, but it’s all empty words. I honestly don’t know why he does it.”
“Hmm, you make a good point.” Taylor was quiet as she thought for a moment and continued, “but I don’t think his words are empty. I’m not sure why he took so long finishing your chariot, but his eyes light up whenever you’re around. He looks at youwith the same longing I saw on Orsu’s face before he and Julie were officially mated.”
For a moment I allowed myself to believe Taylor’s words and my heart grew all fluttery at the thought that the sexy dryad shifter might like me after all, but I locked those thoughts down and threw them out like garbage. I had been burned in the past by men who would tell me they liked me but would never text me first. Or they would claim to want to be with me and yet never make plans to hang out. My mom would always say,If a guy likes you, you’ll know. There won’t be any room for confusion. I saw the truth of her words every day by the way my dad doted on her and treated her like a queen and him her squire. He looked at her like he was just happy to be near her. Did Drovo look at me that way?
No, no. I wouldn’t let my heart get broken again. He didn’t like me and that was that.
“What about you? Brexl seems to have a thing for you? Do you have a thing for him?” I was desperate to change the subject, and I was genuinely curious about Taylor’s thoughts on the shy shifter.
She didn’t answer the question directly, but said, “I’m not ready to be in a relationship yet. I’m not sure if I will ever be.”
“Oh? Does that have anything to do with your broken engagement back on earth?” I gently prodded for more information.
“Yeah…I. I had lost myself, my identity, in that relationship. It was shocking how quickly I molded myself into someone he wanted and how quickly I squashed my own wants and desires just for another small taste of his love. I’m still surprised I had what it took to break off our engagement. But I knew it was the right decision when I felt light as a feather after leaving him.”
“Oh.” Taylor’s confession had left me speechless. She was such a confident person. I would have never guessed she would change to fit someone else’s ideal. I guess that can happen to anyone, really. Love is a powerful drug, and we’re all addicted to it.
“My transformation had been so quick that I’m afraid I’ll just do it again in my next relationship.”
“That’s understandable.” I agreed with her sentiment. I’m not sure I’d trust myself either if I had lost my identity so thoroughly in a relationship as she had described. It was sad though, to think that Brexl and Taylor might be bound to a lifetime of him giving her longing looks and her lighting up every time he smiled just to never act on whatever feelings that might have for each other. Hopefully, with time, they’ll discover a path to love.
It seemed I had all the hope in the world that other people might find love while I left none for myself. Whether I liked it or not, I only had eyes for Drovo. None of the other guys seemed nearly as attractive as he did to me. Was I also destined for a lifetime without love then? I wouldn’t think about that tonight. There was more to life than the love of a mate. There was the joy of living and the love of friends, and I had both of those in high measure.
Taylor didn’t say anything further and, neitherdid I. I closed my eyes and let sleep take me. Tomorrow would be another day of traveling, and I wanted to be ready for it.
Drovo
CW: Animal attack
I laid on my fur and looked up at the domed branches and tried my best to think positively. Kayla was as unimpressed with me as ever. She made that clear by not even giving me the slightest grin when I teased her about sharing a shelter. The expression she had given me looked more morose than anything. She used to smile when I flirted with her, and her eyes would sparkle with interest. Now she barely looked at me.
The full weight of my choice to hold off on her chariot was crashing down on me now. It had been a stupid plan. I could see that now. It had given me the excuse I’d needed to talk with her, but at what cost?
My self-loathing was cut short when Brexl spoke into the darkness. “Do you think the hu-mans really don’t mind that we’re shifters?”
I was caught off guard by his question. This was old news. The hu-man females had made it clear thatthey not only didn’t mind our shifting, but most of them found it to be a neat talent. At the very least, they found it to be extremely useful.
“I’m sure it would have come to light by now, if they disliked our shifting abilities. They’re a talkative group and none of them know how to whisper.”
Brexl gave me a grunt in response.
