I shook my head, trying to get rid of the muffled sensation.
Everyone clapped and I smiled, passing the trifle, but the satisfaction of the pack digging into dessert was tinged with sadness. Was this exhaustion really necessary?
It was a full and satisfying day at work, I reminded myself with an internal grimace. I glanced around the table, at the remains of dinner. Did I need to bake those extra loaves of bread? I leaned back, handsbehind my neck, all but supporting the weight of my head. For the first time ever, I felt like I had let myself down when I had a gorgeous meal in front of me.
Yes, Declan's hand on my thigh helped. Yes, he shared my pain, despite my protests, but in my eagerness to prove myself I chose to push to where I might jeopardize everything. I always blamed the Fever, but never admitted I wasn't helping the situation. I might be a mess tomorrow without having stretched myself but I only made it more likely.
Still, I had done it. No one was a bowl of soup. I hadn't accidentally slaughtered a wolf shifter instead of a pig. Everyone’s house sat intact in the evening breeze. Happiness made me giddy and I lost my head for a second and climbed into Declan’s lap.
“You should be very proud of this. I can’t remember when the pack ate so well.” Anise’s obvious pleasure as she ate was like a balm on my soul.
My excitement spilled over. “I can’t wait to see what I can cook up back in Harrowood.”
Our table dropped into silence like a hanged man. Every pair of eyes rested on me, and then Declan. Everyone looked at Anise next.
“Would Declan go with you?” she asked calmly.
I answered confidently. “If he wanted to. I know he has to help find the missing wolves. He can catch up when he’s done.”
The entire table tensed. I clutched Declan’s neck. Itwas the wrong thing to say. Disapproval filled the air. He didn’t panic, though.
I loosened my arms around, trying to read his expression. “You would come with me now, if not for that, right?”
Declan wouldn’t meet my eye and, for once, his mouth remained closed. My brain immediately jumped to the unsaid words. I wasn’t the kind of girl you lefteverything behind for. Too difficult to manage, too stubborn and focused. Now, maybe too powerful. Who wanted to plan their days and weeks around a random invalid?
He smoothed a thumb over my furrowed brow like a balm. His next words scattered all my thoughts on the subject, because if we hadn’t been pretending, if we were legitimate mates, they would have been the perfect ending to this night.
“I’m taking my mate to bed.”
Chapter 21
Fallon
Ididn’t need to fake the kiss I placed on him. We were more than friends at this point and a couple of conversations would work out the rest of our relationship when we were back in Evie’s Keep.
Lounging in his lap was a simple transition to me in his arms, and a few wolves whistled and shouted their thanks as we left the table. Declan’s lips exploring mine surged another round of energy as we stumbled through the empty house. I clung to him as our bodies entwined. He felt so familiar and yet this was so new. The alchemy of us fell over our affection like its own kind of spell.
“I’m so proud of you.”
My heart bubbled up with joy as I thought about it. Today was seamless. Maybe all my previous running around wasn’t effective, just busy. That I didn’t have to suffer for my food was a shiny new concept.
“Thank you…”
For helping me.I didn’t say it into his mind, but he seemed to hear me anyway.
“They didn’t seem too happy I was leaving,” I said out loud.
Declan shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. “Don’t worry about them. It’s probably better that you leave now.”
I had no right to be hurt when that was simply the plan. Tearing him away from his family, this place, seemed cruel. He was more himself here than anywhere else.
I squeezed my arms around his neck. “I mean it. You can come with me. Or join me later when you’re done here. It will take a few weeks to settle back into the Keep.”
Declan’s eyes grew very serious. “Would you let me bite you? Finish our bond?”
Was I tempted? Yes. Declan ticked every single one of my boxes and still fear rose up like a brick wall between us. Coming back with me was one thing. Forever was another thing entirely. I must have stayed silent for too long.
“I thought so. Better to never finish it than break it when you leave. The pack can’t go through that again.”
