She seemed like she enjoyed what we did, but my depth of feeling was more world-ending than that and I didn’t know what to say in the face of our mismatch of energy. I knew I was too enthusiastic sometimes, but surely what we did wasn’t all bad. The glassy look in her eyes forbade any sort of discussion. Her whole body leaned toward Momma with her usual intensity.
The rest of the house was as loud as ever. Cosomo called out a list of sites surrounding Dead Man’s Dell to waiting search parties. Starla’s best friend, Noreen, the pack healer, sat at our kitchen table, winding one of Starla’s scarves around her hand. I had asked the pack for anything to help with the scent trail. I felt guiltyfor a moment for getting wrapped up in my personal problems when the pack was tense, fraying more and more each day the wolves were still missing. It was just that Honey was my entire world and none of this would mean anything without her.
I huffed as Ned came to paw at me, then nestled into my side and settled down for a morning nap. I lazily licked his ear, one eye still on Fallon as she chopped onions, her eyes tearing. Would Fallon ever let me lick her? Not that it was her ear I was after.
Cosomo sent the runners out on their mission and shifted, padding across the kitchen to flop down on my other side. The wiggling against me was annoying until he settled and his body heat and weight formed a perfect sandwich of comfort in the warming kitchen.
Something gave way inside me. I hadn’t been able to truly rest for a moment since I left home. Most of the time, that was thrilling. I loved learning and seeing new things, but it also meant I never really let my guard down. There was no safe place to relax. I was never truly myself and all that entailed. As Eilie added her weight to the pile, I melted a bit more into the floor.
Eyes half closed, I was almost asleep again when Fallon shouted, “Fuck.”
She clutched her bleeding hand as I started up, shedding all my siblings like water. Ned barked himself awake. The scent of rotten apples filled the kitchen. Then my universe tilted as Fallon’s eyes rolled up into the back ofher head and Momma barely caught her as she crumpled to the floor.
Everyone scrambled into chaos. I yipped in alarm and dove for Fallon, knocking Momma out of the way, the fear rising the fur all along my spine. Did I do this? What was happening? Standing above her, I licked her face. Fallon didn’t move. I frantically searched the bond to see what was wrong but it was full of harsh static.
“Let me see her, Declan.”
I snapped my teeth at the voice, the guttural growl rolling through me with all the violence of a winter storm. No one better touch my mate. My claws gouged the kitchen floor as my snout snuffled into her curls. A white crust formed on Fallon’s wrists and knuckles. Licking it, only cut my tongue on its razor edges. The whine burst out of my throat as I moved off her so I didn’t bleed on her. I turned at the motion in the corner of my vision. Momma seized my ruff when I lunged for the healer, Noreen. With quick competence, the healer arranged Fallon on the floor even as I shifted to fully heal my tongue.
“Why hasn’t she been to see me?” Noreen grabbed a kitchen towel and gingerly picked up Fallon’s wrist to inspect it.
Guilt wormed its way through me. I should have pushed through her lies. “Nothing like this has ever happened. She said it only hurts once in a while.”
Noreen’s stare grew flinty. “You knew aboutthis?”
“What's this?” My insides shredded with worry, a whine leaking from my throat.
“She has Hollow Fever, Declan! I don’t know how she’s kept going this long. This is the second stage.”
I almost crashed to my knees. Hollow Fever? Flashes of twisted bodies and screams of unrelenting pain echoed around me. The Fever had swept through the monastery once. It struck Brothers at random. Most were spared, but the monks who caught the worst of it died horrible deaths.
I panted in distress. “How is she not dead?”
She listened to Fallon’s heart. At least Honey was still breathing, even if pain pooled in her features.
Noreen sat up. “It’s not always a death sentence. It can infect some monsters and they can live their whole lives with it. But it comes with concessions. She won’t have the same stamina. There will be flares if she’s pushed, and it’s not managed.”
Momma’s eyes grew large and she turned to me, guilty. “I didn’t mean to, bardeva.”
“Is she dying?” I all but shouted. Why had I ever taken Fallon’s word on something she felt was so trivial? What if our travels, the sledding, her scare in the temple brought on this second stage? My thoughts scattered like snowflakes.
“She might wish she had. The emergence of the second stage is very painful and will last a few weeks.”
“I can withstand it.”
Noreen stared at me. “What do you mean?”
“I can take some of her pain through the bond.”
The circle around me spread wider.
“Bardeva, that’s not possible. A myth of Old Magic,” Momma said quietly.
They didn’t have to believe me. I knew what I had to do. “Understand me when I say I will do anything for Honey.”
“I have a few things that will ease the symptoms but there’s ultimately nothing to do for her, Declan, other than keep her comfortable. Try to get her to simplify her schedule. Rest, light exercise, and eating well will help up to a certain point.”
I started to sweat, picturing the battle ahead. She might as well have asked me to put Fallon in a cage. These were things I had suggested for years without full understanding. Knowing that they were necessary didn’t mean I had much hope of convincing Fallon now.
