“Nothing?” He tilted his head and batted his lashes, and the act might’ve worked on any other man—but not me.
Any passion inside me had disappeared. I was a hollow shell of a man. Empty. My club brothers didn’t even trust me to have their back anymore.
A muscled arm wrapped around Bliss’s shoulders, showing off a skull tattoo on a large hand. Jester appeared on his other side, leaning against the bar. He was a giant compared to Bliss. His dark red hair and beard were a little shaggy. Maybe he’d been holding off on getting a haircut. Most of the club went to Barber, and he could be an annoying fuck to deal with, so I didn’t blame Jester. He blinked at me carefully with a look I didn’treally understand. It was almost as though he was reading my mind, so I glanced away. I hated it when he did that.
Bliss’s entire demeanor changed and something ugly and pained flooded his face. He slapped Jester’s hand, glowering. “Jester, you know you can’t touch me. You can’t—” He glanced at me, then back to Jester, whose expression crumpled. “Let’s talk somewhere else. Now.” He sent me a small smile over his shoulder, one that told me heunderstood, and grabbed Jester by the arm, dragging him away from the bar toward the hallway that led to King’s office.
Whatever was happening wouldn’t end well. Poor Jester. The guy had finally decided to commit, but now Bliss was as squirrelly as they came.
I sighed and took a sip of my beer, wincing at the lukewarm liquid before I shoved it away. There was no way in hell I could drink this.
Groaning, I rose to my feet and glanced around the room. King and Dallas were on one of the black leather couches, canoodling worse than a newlywed couple, while Barber and his hairstylist boy toy were laughing over at the side of the room. There were other couples, too. Eyes and his man. Bishop and his pretty Destiny. Even fucking Scar and Charley. Scar, of all people. I hadn’t expected him to hook up and settle down, especially not with another MC brother.
I was nearly like him once. I’d finally gathered the nerve to kiss my best friend, PD.Fuck. It’d been perfect, and he’d kissed me back.
For years, I’d watched him from a distance, thinking about all the things I wanted to do with him before I would convince myself I couldn’t ruin our friendship. We’d gone to college together and been prospects together. We’d been good friends since. I couldn’t destroy that. I’d also told myself he couldn’t feel the same way.
Until that day.
Thatkiss.
But it’d been the same day as the accident. We’d been so high on adrenaline from the simple act of pressing our fucking lips together that we’d needed to ride. And we had. Then, those fucking Demons had come along and ruined everything.
Fuck!
I shivered as small snippets of memories rippled through my mind. The doctors had told me I might not ever remember the entire thing, that my brain had blocked out the incident and the pain to protect me, but Iwantedto remember. All I had now was feelings and pain and a few visuals that left me wondering about the specifics.
PD and I hadn’t done anything intimate since, never even talk about the kiss. He didn’t bring up the topic, so what could I do? Neither did I. An idiot could tell he was worried and the sympathy wasn’t sexy. It was annoying. I wasn’t a kid, but my MC brothers wanted to treat me that way.
Shaking my head, I moved across the room and out the front door of the clubhouse, stumbling slightly. I breathed in the warm summer air, the scent of motor oil from the bikes sending a wave of calm through me.
I opened my leather Kings of Men cut, dragging out a pack of cigarettes from the inner pocket, and stared at them. I’d wanted to give up the smokes, and I had for a while, but a few weeks out of the hospital I’d started again.
Stress.
Anger.
All the emotions had been too much, and I’d needed something, but now I felt like an idiot. I’d survived life-threatening injuries to my lungs, and I was smoking cigarettes?
I stuffed them back into my cut, then shoved my hands into my jeans pockets, staring around the night air. The moon was barely visible behind dark clouds, but I doubted it would rain.
The door opened behind me, and I didn’t turn to see who it was. The gait and boots crunching the gravel were as familiar to me as the back of my hand. “Will?”
I exhaled and rubbed my face. “I’m all right.”
How many times was I going to say it before someone listened?
PD stepped up beside me, his shoulder bumping mine. His profile was shadowy in the light from the clubhouse. His bowler hat was missing, an unusual thing for him when he was away from home. I didn’t question it, though. We’d all been drinking.
“Okay,” he said, running his hand over his extremely short buzz cut. I hadn’t ruffled his hair in forever, but I loved the way the dark strands felt under my palm, too.
I held back a snort. He never actually asked about my health the way everyone else did, but he didn’t have to. The question was all in his eyes and the way he stood—rigid and uncomfortable. We shared a house, had since our prospect years, and he knew me better than my own family. Better than anyone.
“You smoking?” He glanced toward the row of bikes to our right. His cute, rounded nose, the only thing that softened his features, other than his pouty bottom lip, was lit up by the light next to the front door. My new black Harley Softail gleamed at the end of the line. A few months out of the hospital, I’d put tall bars on it, exactly like the ones those Demon fuckers had destroyed.
“Was going to, changed my mind. Tryin’ to quit again.” I hunched forward, my spine twinging with the movement. My ribs ached, but not as much as they had during the spring whenthe weather was going haywire. The change in air pressure made it worse. Now that it was summer, it wasn’t as bad.
PD inclined his head forward and rubbed his palm over his short hair again. His anchor goatee had sharp lines. He’d probably cleaned them up before coming out tonight. If he’d had his hat on, he would’ve tugged it down to cover his eyes. He gazed out toward the junkyard quietly. The silence might’ve once been comfortable, but tonight it was strung tighter than a bike chain on the verge of snapping.
