I don't know why, but it just makes me start crying again.
"I had a feeling you wouldn't be here if I came back tomorrow."
"I'm s-sorry."
"Because you're leaving me?"
I don't know what to say. The answer is completely out of my hands because it has to be His will—
Kazeyuki slowly kneels down before me.
Oh God.
"I love you, Katherine."
I've never heard him speak like this—
"And I'm terrified—"
And I realize now it's because of that.
"—you'll never believe me."
He swallows hard, and it hurts, it hurts so, so much to see him like this, but I still don't know—
"I love you," he repeats doggedly. "And I wish I had known, I wish I'd realized this earlier, but I didn't."
His pain is my pain, but I just don't know...
"I'm sorry for being a fool. For making things worse with all the lies."
Please give me a sign, God.
"I don't know how to make you believe me."
Please let me know this is Your will, too.
"All I could do was pray. It's the first time I ever prayed—"
God, oh God.
"And He actually answered, Katherine. I actually heard His voice crystal clear in my mind, and His answer terrified me because He says it has to be His choice, and His choice is your choi—"
I throw myself in his arms, and I'm laughing and crying even as he falls on his back, and when he stares up at me—
"I l-love you, Kazeyuki."
He stares at me, still ashen. “My name.” His voice is still hoarse. Still rough. And impossibly uneven. “You’re saying my name again.”
A smile wobbles to my lips. “It feels right again.”
“I love you, Katherine.”
“I know.”
“I never...I...God, I...”
It’s my first time to hear Kaz lost for words, and it’s both a beautiful and painful sight, to see the man that I love made human by love.
