“Delphia?” I ask softly.
“Nori says Hadria is lost,” Delphia says. “Doesn’t matter if we find the Huntresses or not, we won’t be able to stop the Green Rule and they’re going to come for Coppershire next. She says none of us are ever going to go home again.”
“It’s a conclusion based on a series of facts. I believe in being prepared,” Eleanor mumbles. She digs in her pack and pulls out a string and an assortment of tiny animal skulls. I’ve noticed her scooping them up anytime we passed skeletons picked clean. She starts to thread the skulls onto the string.
I look between them, at the defeat on Eleanor’s face, the dying hope in Delphia’s eyes.Do I treat them as soldiers and prepare them for the realities of war?
My thoughts shift to Rosalina. The Prince of Blood couldn’t save her. What kept her going, what’s always kept her going, is her invincible tenacity. Her ability to seek out the single flash of light in a pitch-black sky. What would she say to these two?
I nudge Delphia then Eleanor. “Listen, I know how it feels when you’re faced with an enemy that seems so much stronger than you. Every step feels insurmountable. But the fight doesn’t stop as long as you keep rising. Let them knock you down again and again. You just make sure you get up.” I look between them. “Defeat is the hearth that forges resilience. You’ll see your homes again, and you’ll be all the stronger for it.”
The girls look past me at each other, speaking in that silent language I don’t understand. Then Delphia blinks up at me. “Do you really believe that?”
I believe in Rosalina, and she believes that.“Of course.”
“But you were banished from your home. Do you think you’ll see it again?”
I suck in a breath. Long have I mourned the verdant smell of Florendel, the roar of the waterfall down the mountain, the clatter of steel in the air. No, I don’t think I’ll ever return to Florendel.
More than that, my other home was taken. Never again can I set foot in Castletree, not while Kairyn remains High Prince.
I have no home. A prince, now an orphan. A vagabond. Homeless and unmoored, a seed adrift with no place to plant myself—
Plant yourself in me. I will keep you safe.
I close my eyes, Rosalina’s voice drifting through my mind. When I’d held her in my arms, it didn’t matter that we were aboard a ship, sailing across unknown seas. Her heart is my home.
I look up at the sky, bejeweled with stars. “Home is more than the roads you’ve walked before or the walls that once sheltered you. You will find it within the bonds you’ve forged and the love you’ve shared. That is something that canneverbe taken from you.” I hold each of their gazes in turn. “You two are a home for each other. You will protect and shelter each other. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” Delphia whispers and looks over at Eleanor. The Autumn princess nods.
“I’m here to protect you too,” I tell them. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, all right?”
Again, they look at each other in silent conversation. My stomach turns as I see the flash of trepidation in their eyes.
They’re so innocent, these two, and yet both have faced so much. So much loss, so much war. They don’t deserve to live in such fear. Rosalina ordered me to accompany them because she thought I could protect them. But have I not only added to their ordeals? I was no hero rescuing them yesterday, but a monster in my own right. I can still feel the power coursing through my veins with each killing blow.
Is there another path for me? One not drenched in blood?
“I-I’m sorry if I frightened you yesterday,” I manage. “Your brothers are two of the most important people in my life. I haveto do right by them, and when that creature—” I cut off, and realize my hands are shaking. I did what I had to do to protect them. Why do I feel such shame?
There’s a light touch on my arm, and I look down to see Delphia’s hand. “It’s okay. I’m not afraid of you,” she says.
“Me neither,” Eleanor says. She grabs my hand and pulls it into her lap, then ties a string around my wrist. I realize it’s a bracelet she’s made, decorated with little animal skulls. I hold it up to the firelight.
“My brother’s mate says you’ve done a lot of bad stuff,” Delphia continues. “I don’t believe her, but even if you have, it’s okay. My brother’s done a lot of bad stuff too.”
“Mine too. A lot of people blamed him when the Scriptorium burned down,” Eleanor says. “Sometimes, I blame him for making Mom so sad those last few years. She tried to hide it, but I wonder if he came home more, if she would have been happier, you know?”
Delphia looks into the fire. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel angry at Dayton sometimes. He lives in Castletree, and I live in Soltide. He’s got all of his friends there, and I’ve got no one. Not a mom or a dad or any siblings. I mean, there’s my teachers and the council, but once all the decisions are made, there’s no one to sit with me in my room.” She looks up, and I notice her fighting back her tears with a smile. “At least, until Nori came.”
Words feel stuck in my throat. We princes have done so wrong by those who love us most. When our families needed us, we hid away. By every right, Delphia and Eleanor should hate their brothers. “How did you find forgiveness for them?” I ask quietly.
Firelight reflects in Delphia’s eyes. “Nobody taught me how to be steward. I felt scared so much of the time. Scared I was going to make a wrong decision. Scared I was going to hurt the people counting on me. Sometimes, it made me feel so overwhelmed, I couldn’t do anything. I would think and think and think, and I’d get all these ideas and intentions. It was just too much. So, a while ago, I decided that all I needed was one good reason. Every time I had to make a decision, I just needed to find one good reason to do something,” she says. “I used to go around and around in my head. Should I stay mad at Dayton forever? But I had one good reason not to.” A small smile tugs at her lips. “I love him.”
I stare down at her. Silence passes through the oasis, the only sound the crackling fire.
Was there ever any love between Kairyn and me?
