“Nothing exciting. Just a desk for a new client.”
I step closer and look at the beginnings of a digital sketch. It does, in fact, look like a desk. “That’s cool.”
“Thanks.”
Shaw leans back, one eyebrow reaching for the edge of his fade. I stare at him, trying to hide the smile that wants to take over my lips. He leans back even further, inclining his head toward me. I get it. I’m not fooling anyone. I didn’t wander into his office to ask him how the drafting program on his iPad works. I want to be near him again. I’m wondering what’s keeping him up and why he’s not busy making a Brookie sandwich with Vaughn. Mostly I’m wondering if I should ask him to finger me while I sit on his desk. I decide to keep that all to myself though. We’ve done enough for one evening.
“Well. Nice chatting with you.” I turn to leave. I’m sure Vaughn will welcome me back to bed, even though he’s busy snoring his tender, bruised ass off.
“Brook.”
“Yep,” I say before I turn back. When I do, I realize my mistake. I should have kept my damn mouth shut. I should have crept back to bed and left Shaw to his work. I should have counted sheep until I dozed off again. There’s still time for that. I can still escape with my dignity intact.
Shaw swivels the base of his chair and my eyes go right to his lap as his thighs fall open. He’s wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and a different henley than he was when he put Vaughn and I to bed. It’s just sleep wear, but it looks so good on him and that thirsty thought is the least of my problems. I take in the way he’s eyeing me, opening another door with just a look. Waiting for me to do something, to say something, and I know all of it is bad news. I can’t do this with Shaw. Shaw is trouble.
I don’t flee like I know I should.
“How do you do this all the time?” I ask him.
“Do what?”
“This.”
“What? Working in my office in the middle of the night?”
“No, you ass.”
“Listen, you wanted honesty. So, use your words and stop playing games, youass.”
My eyes roll all on their own. “Fine. How do you exist at this heightened level of horniness all the time? How do you walk down the street without people of all genders throwing themselves at you? Is that why you live so far out here alone?”
“Well, for starters, there’s a woman wearing no pants in my office right now, so that might have something to do with my level of horniness. And for the second part, I don’t think people come on to me anymore than they come on to anyone they find attractive. That doesn’t make me special.”
“Uh huh. Sure,” I laugh, but it dies on my lips almost immediately. Shaw isn’t laughing. He’s frowning at me. “What?”
“What part of this is the part you think you don’t deserve?”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t say that.” I know I sound defensive, but that stung. An uncomfortable heat spreads over the back of my neck.
“No, but you’re suggesting that I have something you can’t have or can’t imagine having, even though my dick was literally in your ass a few hours ago.” I stare at him in shock, my brain trying to sort through what he’s saying. My silence isn’t enough to stop him because he just keeps right on going. “If it’s me you think you can’t have, you’re wrong ’cause you’ve already had me. If it’s a relationship like Vaughn and I have, well...”
“Well what?” I don’t mean to snap, but I snap. I’m fucking annoyed.
“Josh is gone, Brook. Corrine is gone. He hurt you. She hurt me, but the brutal truth is they can’t hurt us again.”
That heat on my neck flashes up my face and down my throat. I was wrong about Shaw and it’s better for me to walk away right now. “Copy that. I’m gonna go back to bed. Goodnight.” I make for the door, but he’s still got more shit to say.
“Brook.”
I spin around, my hands going to my hips. “What?” I say with a mirthless scoff. What the fuck could he possibly want from me?
“Come here.”
“No.”
“Fine. I’ll say this while you stand over there. You wanted honesty. I want to stop punishing myself, I want you to do the same and I definitely don’t want you to punish Vaughn.”
“I didn’t—”
