“Great. Let’s do it.”
“One more thing.”
“Sure,” Mason said.
“We had a real wedding. We had a real wedding night. If you know what I’m saying. Ahehehe.”
“I do,” Mason chuckled.
“Why not get real wedding rings? A little something to remember this all by.”
“Do you know your ring size?” he asked.
“No. Do you?”
“Size huge. Monday after I finish at the cafe, would you like to join me down at Ghent St. Jewelers? We’ll get sized up.”
“Love it. There’s one more thing I need from you,” Xeni said.
“What’s that?”
“A kiss.”
Mason set down the flattened boxes and scooped Xeni up. The moment their lips touched, he realized just how much anger and tension he was still holding onto, because as she wrapped her arms tighter around his shoulders, the stress, the pain that was trying to resurface, drained away.
* * *
Asking Mason for help was the smart thing to do. For one, there was just too much stuff, at least fifteen years’ worth of accumulated crap. They worked all day, only taking a quick break to finish off the leftover Alfredo for lunch. Around five, they decided to call it quits. Together they were able to pack up the master bedroom, clear all of her aunt’s personal items out of the bathrooms and start on the office.
Xeni gave herself permission to feel how she was going to feel. Laying her aunt to rest twice was hard, but that was before she knew the truth. She’d never been saying goodbye to her aunt. She had said goodbye to her mother. She wasn’t angry anymore. All she could feel was a heavy sadness. It felt like it was pressing down on her forehead, causing all her muscles to tense. The physical act of folding Sable’s clothes, sorting through her little knickknacks, at times felt like more than she could handle.
A small plastic bag with two Christmas ornaments made out of yarn. Mardi Gras beads. Six pairs of readers. An unopened pack of Dr. Scholl’s gel inserts. Cotton swabs. Programs for the eight a.m. prayer service at St. Michael’s. A canister of Chock Full O’ Nuts coffee, now brimming with loose change.
Xeni could only think of all the moments she’d missed. She’d had her own moments with her mom and Dante. Good moments. But as she and Mason moved through the house, she wished her mom had let her spend more time with Sable. She understood—well, she was trying to understand—the complicated decision Sable had made to give her up and the choice her mom made in fighting to keep her, but that didn’t stop her from asking the what ifs over and over in her head. After lunch, she decided to focus on packing, on the items themselves. She gave herself permission to keep as many of Sable’s things as she wanted for herself. So far, her own personal box contained two photo albums, an amazing silk shawl and a button that said Spinsters for Obama.
Mason was the perfect partner to help her take on this painful endeavor. He let her work in silence when she clearly had no emotional energy for words. He offered to change their working music to something more upbeat and bizarre when the nineties hits station they were streaming took Xeni back to a particular time and place in her memory that she didn’t want to visit at the moment.
He sat with her on the bedroom floor when she broke down again, seemingly out of nowhere. It was a little jade figurine of a rabbit that set her off. Where had Sable gotten it? Was it a gift? Were rabbits her favorite animal? Mason draped an arm around her as the tears silently fell and in that moment, Xeni realized she had to forgive her mother and maybe go one step further and make the effort to get to know her. She knew next to nothing about her birth father and Sable had been a mythical being in her eyes. Now they were both gone. Xeni didn’t want to look back and wonder simple things about her mom or Dante.
When they finished for the day, they stacked all the full boxes in the dining room. The progress they’d made brought on a sense of morbid satisfaction. She would get through this.
15
Another shower was in order after all the moving and lifting. Mason went back to his place to change and their plan was to meet up and head over to Liz and Silas’s house, but when she got out of the shower there was a text from her new husband.
Babysitting services no longer needed.
Silas asked for a night in.
Still want to see me?
He added a gif of a little kid with his fingers crossed, begging please.
Yes, I still want to see you.
Can I also request a night in?
With sexy times of course.
