“And you brought her home. The last girl you let hang out with your sisters was Kelly. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at her all day. You can’t fool me, boy. I know what it’s like.”
“Of course I like her. I said that last week. We’re together. I want you guys to get to know her. There’s a leap between all that and her being the one.”
“So, it hasn’t crossed your mind?”
“I—” Rafe couldn’t deny it. He’d thought about all kinds of shit, including what it would mean. He’d been thinking about it ever since Avery tossed the Dad grenade. He looked out the window and scrubbed his hand through his beard. Joe went on.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you didn’t tell her you could only stay on to the end of the year.”
“No, I did not.”
“So, are you staying on for her or the kids?”
Rafe sighed and pressed his head back into the headrest. “I don’t know, Dad. Both? They’re good kids. She’s an amazing woman.”
“You know you can keep dating her and not watch her kids.”
“I know.”
“I’m not saying you have to up and quit. I’m just thinking back to the beginning of the summer when you sat there on my couch and told me you were done. You said you wanted to move on and I know you didn’t have a solid plan, but I also know you give a lot of yourself. I thought you were ready to give something else a go.”
“Yeah.”
“You hear me, Rafael?”
“Yes, I hear you.”
“You can go back to school. You can go work for your Uncle Nick at the shop. You can still do whatever you want.”
“I think I just didn’t want to move to Australia. Moving on to a different family is one thing. I couldn’t uproot myself and I didn’t want to miss Hope’s senior year. ”
“I’m not saying any of this because of Sloan. She’s a great girl. Monica loves her and Hope took to her right away. Gracie wants to move in with her. And you know I’m never going to complain about you dating a doctor. You’ve just been doing a lot for other families for a long time, and yeah you were paid for it, but your time and your dreams are important too. I—I know a lot of that blame falls on me.”
Rafe turned and looked at his dad. “What are you talking about? I don’t blame you. What would I have to blame you for?”
“I could have made you go back to school. I coulda—”
“Dad. I fucked up. I could have gone back to school, but I chickened out.”
“Yeah, well you wouldn’t have been in that situation if I hadn’t—”
“If you hadn’t moved us out here. Yeah I know, but I don’t see it that way. Do you think I wish we were back in Woburn? Cause I don’t. I didn’t start fucking up when we moved out here. I had just been fucking up in a familiar place with cops who didn’t give a shit what White boys were doing.”
“Yeah,” Joe said quietly. Sure, things changed when they came to the West coast, but there wasn’t some magical life Rafe was missing out on three thousand miles away. He’d tracked down old friends from his junior high school. He knew what they were up to and he knew he wasn’t missing out on a damn thing. Sure as fuck, nothing he would trade Monica and his sisters for. Nothing he would trade Sloan and her girls for either.
“Stop beating yourself up,” he said to his dad. “I hear you and I will tell Sloan if and when I’m ready to move on to something else. I won’t spring it on her and I won’t keep it all in until it turns into resentment or something worse. Do I have some shit to figure out? Yeah. But right now, this is what I want.”
“Good. I just know love can make you do crazy shit sometimes.”
“Like buy a lifetime supply of Brita filters?”
“Hey, you make fun, but look at my skin.” Some of the redness on his dad’s face had gone away. “I look forty again.”
“Let’s not get carried away now.”
“We need bags of ice and some Skittles.”
“Can’t forget the Skittles. Let’s go.”
