“When I got pregnant with the girls, he was...kinder, for a little while. When I was, like, six months along, he casually mentioned how happy he was that things were ‘working out’. He thought, or he’d hoped, I was going to give up medicine to stay home with them, which I had no plan to do. We fought about that a lot. And when I went back to work, he strayed. To her credit, the woman he cheated with felt bad. She told me everything. I think she was trying to save our family, but I don’t know—to me that was like my way out. I knew I was done. I just didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t love him anymore.
“The fun part about having kids with your ex is that you can never shake them. Leaving Seattle has helped a lot. I’ve never been happier. The sunshine helps too, but I feel like I can breathe here and I don’t have to worry about seeing him a few times a week. Now I’m just hoping he falls into a sinkhole and I never have to deal with him again.”
“But he’s okay with the girls?”
“Yeah, he’s fine,” she said, waving him off. “He loves them, in his own arrogant way. His mother does most of the parenting when they’re with him. Part of the reason I didn’t fight for full custody is because Susan is a good grandmother and they like being with her.”
“Did he ever put his hands on you?”
“No. He didn’t, but I can tell you want to beat his ass and I appreciate it. What’s on your mind?”
“A couple things.” Rafe reached up and let the side of his knuckle trail down her neck. Sloan leaned into his touch.
“Care to tell me?”
“I was thinking about how I feel about you.”
“Yeah?”
“And I’m thinking about how hard it’s going to be for me when the girls get back.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just thinking about how long it’s going to be before I accidentally touch you or fuck up, and kiss you goodnight in front of them.”
“Oh. Yeah. I’ve been thinking about that too.”
“And I’m thinking about where the line is with me and Drew.”
“Yeah, that too. With him, I’ll—I’ll let you know. You and I are together. I just want you to worry about us. All of my feelings for Drew involve regret and time wasted. It’s not a situation where I see us as this family that could have had it all if something had just been different. I can’t stand his ass in a real way. But I can handle him. And I’m not saying that like I don’t want you to care.”
“I know.”
“I just—I can handle him. But the girls are a different story.”
“This is your call because they’re your children, but when we go to my parents’ tonight and when you meet my friends, I want to introduce you as my girlfriend. I don’t want to pretend we’re just friends and I sure as fuck don’t want to spend the whole night telling myself I can’t touch you or kiss you.”
“I’d like that.” Sloan leaned forward and kissed him, but the soft smile on her lips faded as fast as it appeared. “When the girls get home tomorrow, I’ll talk to them. Or we can talk to them together, tell them we’ve initiated—” Sloan cut herself off.
“What?”
“I was going to say that we’re initiating step one of the new daddy plan, but I think that might give them the wrong impression. Not to say—”
“No, I get it. We’re not exactly sure where this is going, so we can’t tell them it’s headed that way.”
Rafe hated this part of the dating game, where one or both parties held shit back, or took too much care in tiptoeing around certain things so they didn’t scare the other person off. Rafe knew that what he was feeling for Sloan was intense. He also knew he could already see a future with her, but she was right. It was too soon to be talking about forever.
“We can tell them that we like each other and that we don’t know what will happen, but we’ll keep them in the loop. And then we can brace ourselves for fifty follow-up questions.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’ll steer the conversation from there.” Sloan chuckled and slid her hand over his stomach. His abs tensed under her touch as a rush of warmth flooded his body. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I want you. In my life.”
“I feel the same way.”
“Good—” Sloan’s stomach let out the loudest growl.
“You hungry there, champ?”
“Apparently.”
