“God,” Sloan chuckled. “This is awkward as fuck.”
Fuck it, Rafe thought. He took the leap. “How about this. When you want it, when you want more from me, just send me a simple text. Pick a—a nonsexual emoji.”
“Aren’t they all sexual if you put your mind to it?”
“That is true.”
“I’ll do some research. Come up with something original.”
“Good. You and I get to know each other better and if you want this to turn into something else—”
“Just send you a text. It’s that easy?”
“I don’t see why it has to be any harder.”
“Right. Okay. Cool. That’s good. Good. Should we shake on it?” Sloan said, her throat visibly working to swallow her nerves. Rafe looked her face up and down, then made a decision that would change everything between them. He crossed the kitchen, then bent, lightly cupping Sloan’s cheeks. Before their lips could meet, he felt her lean up on her tiptoes. She kissed him, wrapping her soft fingers around his wrists, keeping him in place.
Knowing they were once again on the same page, and maybe feeling like he had a little something to prove, Rafe deepened the kiss, pressing even closer and parting his lips. Her tongue eased out and brushed against his. Absolutely fucked. He knew he wasn’t coming back from this, but he also knew when she eventually had to fire him because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, he would still never regret this kiss.
When he felt a groan brewing deep inside his chest, he pulled away. They stared at each other for a few long moments, breathing heavily. Rafe knew what could happen next, but he also knew at that very moment that it would be a mistake.
“Well. That was very informative,” Sloan said, sounding a little breathless.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, that’ll—that’ll really give me something to think about.” Suddenly, she seemed to snap out of the trance they’d both been under. She winced, scratching her forehead. “In a hypocritical twist, please don’t ask my kids to keep secrets from me. I’m fine if you treat them to lunch or the spontaneous trip for yogurt. But Tess telling them to keep the Tito’s thing from me. I just—”
“I get it. And I won’t. That’s not my style. I’ll have them surprise you with breakfast in bed just to keep things fresh, but you’re their home base. No matter how much they like me, it’s not my job to mess with your relationship with them. And clearly they don’t know how to feel about lying to you either. I mean, those sandwiches were buried deep.”
“Thank you.”
“You okay, otherwise?”
“Yeah. It’s just been a long week. I’d like the Tess-related revelations to stop.”
“Listen, it’s my job to make things easier for you. Not harder.”
“I appreciate that. I—uh. I’m going shut things down and head up to my room. I’m going to watch bad British T.V. in my bed.”
“Goodnight, Sloan.”
“Goodnight, Rafe.”
He turned and left the kitchen before anything else could be done or said. It was barely nine o’clock when he climbed in the shower. He knew he had a long night of trying not to beat off while silently praying for a text.
5
Sloan waited until she heard Rafe’s bedroom door close before she took off at a full sprint up the stairs. She was careful not to slam her own door, but as soon as it clicked shut behind her, she threw herself on the bed and screamed the girliest, squealiest scream she could manage right into her pillow. She’d just kissed Rafe. Rafe kissed her and it was goooood. Her body was hot all over. Just one kiss and her breasts and pussy were aching.
From the moment he’d arrived that morning, Sloan knew she was in trouble. Watching him walk up to her front door was like watching the opening scenes of a porno with a semblance of a plot. Snug dark green t-shirt stretching over his large biceps. Jeans that were somehow loose, but perfectly close-fitting at the same time, hugging his large thighs. The only thing that stopped her from drooling or asking him flat out if he wanted to use her as a finger puppet was the fact that they definitely weren’t alone.
Sloan knew she had to step back and evaluate what going literal years without sex did to her brain. The sudden wave of lust that had washed over her when he offered to take the Tahoe to get washed was absurd. Thanks to her experience with her ex, sometimes her standards felt so low the bar was literally under the floor, but a short forty-eight hours with Rafe had opened this strange world of possibilities. There was a hot, sweet guy out there who was great with her kids?
How could she not find that attractive? She’d spent her whole life under someone’s watchful eye. First her mother’s, who wanted the best for her, and then Drew’s, who wanted her to do the best for him. Xeni was right. The was no harm in telling Rafe that she thought he was cute. If things went to hell, she knew he wouldn’t leave her high and dry. Worst case scenario, they had a few awkward weeks while she found someone new. If things went well…
She sat up, cutting off that line of thinking. No. Whatever was going on between them couldn’t become anythingmore. This was phase one of one. Smooching and maybe a few covert trips to third base. That was it. The last time she’d wanted more, she ended up married to the asshole of the century who tried to mindfuck her out of her career. All she wanted was to look at Rafe, touch his biceps a little, and hopefully he could remind her what it felt like to have an orgasm that wasn’t self induced.
In the next few days, she would be opening another human being’s chest and literally cutting into their heart. She could handle that, but she was losing her mind over a kiss. She picked up her phone and texted Xeni.
