“I don’t know. I’m gonna take her to the vet,” he stands and starts walking toward thebedroom.
“You want me to stay withher?”
“No? You have to go,” he says over hisshoulder.
“Silas—”
He stops and turns to look at me. His whole body is bright red. He’s holding so much in. We both are. “I’m not trying to be clever. You have to leave. She’s my dog. I’ll take care ofher.”
“Well I’m staying with her until you get dressed. Scott can fucking wait.” He mumbles something that sounds like “Whatever” as he stalks away. Gala and Joe follow him. Hank and Morty seems to be torn, but after a second, Hank comes over and sniffs me, thenHoneycrisp.
“You’re okay, girl. It’s okay.” I gently rub her ear. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me from vomiting. Silas is back a few moments later. I look up as he hops into his boots. I get out of his way as he leans down and gently scoops Honeycrispup.
“You should go,” hesays.
“Just let me helpyou.”
“Fine. Grab the door.” I run ahead and open the front door, making sure I close the other dogs in behind us. I don’t have any shoes on. I don’t care. I run down the porch steps, and across the yard, then open the driver’s side door for him. I push the seat forward and move out of the way so Silas can slide her into thebackseat.
“I’m gonna kill him if you don’t let me leave now,” he says once he has her situated. He won’t look at me. I want to help him, I want to comfort him and be there for Honeycrisp, but Scott is watching us from hisSUV.
“Okay.”
“You have my number, right?” he asks. We haven’t been calling each other. Whenever he wants to talk to me he just appears in the kitchen. I nod. “Yeah, I put it in my phone the otherday.”
“Call me when you figure out what’s going on. I want to make sure you’reokay.”
“Okay.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Scott’s window roll down. I want to think getting punched would be enough. Apparentlynot.
“As much as I’m enjoying this vacation to the country, would you like to hurry the fuckup?!”
“Shut up, Scott! I’m fucking coming!” I might kill himmyself.
I look back at Silas and that vein in his forehead is actuallygrowing.
“Go,” he says with a surprising calm. He doesn’t wait for me to answer him. He gets in his truck. I storm back inside and have to push past the dogs who are all gathered at the door. They follow me into the bedroom, even Joe. I know they are scared and confused, but I have to go. I get dressed, then gather up all my stuff and throw it in my duffle bag. It becomes painfully clear how comfortable I’ve become in Silas’s house when I have to search for my computer charger. I find it in thekitchen.
I check the bedroom one last time to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind. I see my rainboots by the door. There’s no reason to take them with me. I have to go. I don’t bother saying goodbye to the dogs. I’ll only get them more worked up. I’ll cry. I make sure the door is closed shut behind me and I make my way across the yard to Scott’s car. I ignore the way he’s leaning back against the headrest, holding his hand over the spot where Silas punchedhim.
I climb and buckle my seatbelt. “We can go,” Isay.
“God, you even smell likehim.”
“Have you always been this much of anasshole?”
Scott turns to me. “Have you always been thiseasy?”
My body reacts on its own. I slap the shit out ofScott.
“Jesus Christ!” I’m pretty sure I hit him in the same spot, but I don’t give ashit.
“Don’t ever fucking talk to me like thatagain.”
“Don’t hit me again,” he says. It’s not an order though. It’s more of a plea. I think I got my point across. He surrenders. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m still shaking. Too much ishappening.
“Let’s just go.” I try not to look at him as he rubs his face. Getting clocked by me and Silas inside of fifteen minutes probably didn’t do much to help him think before he speaks, but it might have at least shut him up for a few minutes so I canthink.
It’s Dorrit. I know. Somehow he’s got me fired. I watch the house as Scott turns on the car. I watch the single light coming through the small windows in the front door as he backs up and turns around. I watch the trees as we make our way back out to the road. I try to breathe. I try to calm my heart. I can’t. There’s a storm in my head, a rushing sound in my ears. Almost dying was bad, so bad. Somehow, this feelsworse.
