“I’m better, sort of. I think I did something stupid. I’m still doingit.”
“Yeah. You were going to tell me something the other day. What’s goingon?”
“I was thinking about how I ambushed you and forced you to hold yourselfaccountable.”
“You sure as fuck did!” she laughs. “Okay.” She lets out a deep breath and I can just see her pretending to shake her hair out of her face. “Pretend we’re at my place and we have like five bottles of rosé to split between us. Talk tome.”
“I’m staying with Scott’sbrother.”
“Scott has abrother?”
“He has a twin. I won’t get into the details of where, just in case I’m being bugged, ’cause I’m paranoid likethat.”
“No, no. That’s fine. Be paranoid. So you’re staying with Scott’s brother and you did something stupid. So what you’re telling me is that you’re sleeping with Scott’s brother. That’s my guess here. Well his twin. Okay,okay.”
“You still withme?”
“Yeah, I’m just trying to think about what my therapist would ask me if I laid this on her. Okay, go on. You are sleeping with his brotherright?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Ah—I’d ask how it started, but you’ve been through a trauma and we all know how I reacted after my most recenttrauma.”
I laugh a little. “You’re marrying yourreaction.”
“Sure am. I’m guessing Scott doesn’tknow.”
“No, I haven’t told him yet. It’s complicated in a way that isn’t just me saying it’s complicated.” I tell her about their mom and Scott’s possibly current feelings for me. The bagpipe music still floating through the air adds a certain surreal element to my confessions. “The thing is, Scott’s not very nice to Silas and that bothersme.”
“Yeah. Hmm, that’s tough. Well let’s break this down, shall we. Would you be sleeping with him if Scott was a non-factor? Or better yet how much of the tabooness of this all is factoringin?”
“None. It’s not factoring at all and that’s why I wanted to talk to you about this. I don’t feelbad.”
“And that’s legit. Honestly even if you knew about how Scott felt about you, I’ve seen you two together and you’ve never come close to leading him on, whatever that even means, but you get me, right? You and Scott act like you’re homies. There’s no chemistrythere.”
“Exactly. And there are definitely similarities between the two of them. They are twins, but Silas is so different. I wish you could meethim.”
“Oh baby girl honey child,” shelaughs.
“What?”
“You like him. ‘I wish you could meet him’ is sprung as fuck for ‘I’m sprung asfuck’.”
I can’t help but laugh at myself. “There are feelings thereyes.”
“Well I think you have to tell Scott. It’s not his business who you sleep with, but he is your friend and this is his brother. Not telling him would be kind ofshitty.”
“We tried, kinda, yesterday. He blew Silas off and then he told me he’d call me tomorrow. I don’t think he’ll even answer the phone unless I say it’s an emergency and me mugging down with his brother isn’t an emergency. Plus, he is literally in the middle of trying to help me get to the bottom of this whole fucked up situation. There might be worse timing to drop this on him, but I sure as hell can’t think ofit.”
“Right. Well, I guess tell him as soon as youcan.”
“Yeah,” Isay.
“But that’s not all of it, is it?” sheasks.
“How could youtell?”
“You just sighed so loud my eardrumpopped.”
