“No! I just wanted to seeus.”
His eyebrows go up. It clicks for me where his dirty mind is going and I roll my eyes. “Not like that. Though making sex tapes is fun, but you gotta burn all evidence immediatelyafter.”
“You've made a sextape.”
“In my former life, yes. I used to be more fun. Now it’s all the dull side of thelaw.”
He leans back and I look at him as he uses his tongue to dig something out of his teeth. I feel like I should find this wildly unattractive, but I don’t. He’s such amanand I don’t hate it. “You've tied me up twice and you rode my face,” he says. “You don't consider thatfun?”
“Well it wasn't fun for you. Or did you forget that you told me you didn't likeit?”
“I told you that was a bad choice of words. I liked it alot.”
“Mhmm.”
“I have to admit, I still don't get it. You’re not a professional dominatrix anymore,” he says. “What's the point of all that if you know I already want to have sex with you? We don’t need all the bells andwhistles.”
“Think of it this way. It turns me on to know that you want to have sex with me. I'm into that, but it turns me on even more knowing that I'm denying you a little of what you want. The bells and whistles you speak of make the sex better forme.”
He laughs a little. I like the way it sounds. It makes me smile. I turn and pet Joe so Silas can’t see me blushing. “You know how selfish that sounds right?” hesays.
“Why?” I turn back to him. “Because men always get what they want? Why should I have to give youmore?”
“So how is it fair that I give you exactly what you want and I don’t get what Iwant?”
“What haven’t I given you? Think long and hard before you answer, because you came your brains out lastnight.”
“I—”
“Yeah. It’s simple gender inequality, my guy,” I say in that voice Brooklyn always does to make melaugh.
“I still don'tfollow.”
“Men expect certain things and usually they get them, but I say fuck that. I almost never get what I want in life. I get some things, but almost everything, even the shit I work really hard for? I know I would get even more if I were a man. Especially a whiteman.”
“Okay. You’re rightthere.”
“You notice I haven't blown you yet? We’ve slept together a couple times now and your dick hasn't come anywhere near mymouth.”
“I hadn't noticed that before, but I do now. What's up withthat?”
I shrug and tell him the truth. “I don't like to suck dick right away. Sometimes I don't like to suck dick at all. A lot of work goes into a good head and most men don't really appreciate theeffort.”
“But I went down on you lastnight.”
“And I loved it. You were great. I hope we can do it again. But you own how many acres?” I say with a smile. “I'm just trying to restore some balance to the universe. See, even you kind of arguing with me about this, you think you're owed something, but you'renot.”
“And you don't think you're owed anything?Sexually?”
“Nope. Well kinda, I think I’m owed consideration and pleasure. Otherwise what’s the point, but that's how consent works. I told you what I wanted and you agreed. You can say no. We can talk about it, we can negotiate. If we can't come to terms, we don't have to sleep together. It's that simple. But I do have one question for you. Did you not like it when I told you to kiss my pussy lastnight?”
He smiles a little, then shakes his head. “I lovedit.”
“It’s okay, honey. Society’s got you brainwashed. You think you’re not supposed to like being bossed around by me or any woman, but you trust me, like I trust you. I wouldn’t sleep with you at all if I wasn’t comfortable with you in the trust department. I refused potential clients all the time if I got bad vibes fromthem.”
“How’d you know you could trustme?”
I shrug. “I listen to you. You’re blunt and rude sometimes, but you’re also gentle andkind.”
