“I want to. Look, I get it. I know how thislooks.”
I stare back at him. He has no fuckingidea.
“I do. There’s all this shit stacked against you. And it is clear that even if anyone believes you, they don’t give a shit. Murrell’s not gonna back you going against Dorrit. Even if he actually gave a shit about any of us as human beings, he’s not backing any Black woman in any cause unless there are a lot of zeroesinvolved.”
Okay, maybe he does understand, but that's only part of theproblem.
“Can you hang for a few hours?” heasks.
“Forwhat?”
“I have some place where you can hide out for a little while. Outside of the city. Murrell can’t fire you for taking some time. Your caseload has been nuts and you’re one of the best associates they have. You can take a littletime.”
“Where’s thisplace?”
Scott straightens up a bit and I see a weird red creep up his neck. “Uh, I have a place upstate. Outside of Ghent. I have people who could look out foryou.”
“Uh, I don't know. I don’t even know where the fuck Ghentis.”
“Trust me. No one, and I mean no one, is going to look for you there. You go up there for a little while. Tell Murrell you’ll be out of the office dealing with this shit and you’ll take your work with you. You’ll be reachable. He won't like it, but he can't fire you for getting your shit together after something like this. Meanwhile I'll get in touch with Tillery. And I’ll track downKelsey.”
“Tillery. The guy you used on the Bacheldercase?”
“You know Tillery,” he says with a devioussmirk.
“I do know Tillery,” I say, turning this idea over in my head. “Tillery isgood.”
“If anyone can find out what the fuck Dorrit is up to, it’s Tillery, and then maybe we get him to chill the fuck out. He sent his message. He scared you. Fine. He doesn’t need to take this anyfurther.”
“I don’t want to drag you intothis.”
He shrugs. “Eh, I was in this the moment you used me as your emergency contact. Use my place.Please.”
I consider his offer for a moment, then shake my head. “No. I can't. Let me get back to work. I have ton of shit to do and I feel like Murrell is having my desksurveyed.”
“Well at least stay with me until things cool down a bit. At least until the cops are finished with theirinvestigation.”
“That could beweeks.”
“Then let me get you home tonight. I'll come back to your place with you and if you don't feel comfortable there you can crash with me for a fewdays.”
“Fine.”
“I know, I know. I'm a terriblefriend.”
“Ya fucking garbage, McInroy,” I say instead of thanking him. Instead of breaking down and crying on him in the middle of theoffice.
* * *
It takesa few hours to find my focus. I take two breaks. One for takeout and one when Brooklyn calls me after she's finished in court. She's hysterical. Not crying. Yelling. For not telling her what happened sooner, for not tracking her down immediately, for not calling her the second after everything happen. I talk her down and I tell her the whole truth. And finally she understands, but she's scared too. I tell her to promise me that she’ll stay put until I get a little more clarity on the situation. I am definitely not trying to push her away. I’m trying to keep her safe. I’m trying to besmart.
She relents, eventually, after so much cursing, and makes me promise that I will be in touch with her constantly. I can give her that. I promise I’ll call the minute I leave the office. She says she doesn’t care that she needs to be back in court in the morning, she’ll answer no matter how late. We’re sisters. We don’t go it alone. I tell her I love her and then I put my mask back on and get back towork.
Around nine-thirty Scott pokes his head in my office. I realize I’ve been staring at the same piece of paper for at least twenty minutes. I gather up my things and follow Scott and two of the paralegals down to the ground floor in the elevator. Scott gets us a cab. I don’t know how I manage to fall asleep, but the second after I give the driver my address, I’m out cold. The next thing I know, Scott is nudging me awake. We step out into another hot night and my building seems eerily quiet from the outside. I don't know if it's me. If I'm suddenly on alert, listening for things on the dark street that I've never listened for before, but something feelsoff.
I look over when Scott’s hand lands on my lower back. “You ready? Let's just go check it out. We can leave or stay as long as you want.Cool?”
“Yeah, let'sgo.”
