“Close. I can’t. It’s me. Plumbing don’t work. Never did, but May didn’t leave me. And back long before it was hip to tell people you just didn’t want to have kids, May told people it was her. She did that for me. She didn’t have to, but she knew how awful I felt that I couldn’t give her youngins so she tried to save my pride. I didn’t let her keep that up for more than five minutes, but that was when I knew her and I were a team. We loved each other that much. And we keep trying to protect each other.”
I look over at him when the emotion starts choking up his voice. “You deserve that, Shepard. You hear me? You deserve whoever is gonna look out for you the way you look out for them. Not someone who’s going to turn on you when you don’t see eye to eye. You deserve someone who’s gonna stick around for you.” He lets out a harsh breath, then swallows the lump in his throat. He’s close to crying. So am I, but we both manage to keep it in.
“So what do you think I should do?” I ask. “You think I should sell this place and leave?”
“Not if you don’t want to. Get on the internet. That’s what it’s for, right? Make you a dating profile. Maybe there’s some nice conservationist in Montana who’s looking to move further west. Find someone who works for you. Stop trying to make these girls fit your life up here. It’s not gonna work.”
“You’re right.” I know he is.
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Claudia though. She did seem like a very nice girl. Very pretty too.”
“I won’t tell May-Bell you said.”
“Oh, she agrees. That was the first thingshesaid about her.”
“I see.”
“We square, you and I?” He holds out his hand.
“Yeah. We’re good.” I shake it.
“Good. Come on by for dinner tonight. I know you Olsen men are keen on your lonely commiserating, but you smell like a distillery and I think you could go for some good food.”
“Okay.”
“Now come on.” He slaps me on my knee and nods toward the bed of his truck. “Come get your chainsaw.”
Eighteen
Claudia
45 DaysLater
Ineedto stop looking at my phone while I’m walking. I’ve walked into three people already today, two of them between the train and my building. And maybe if I were paying a little bit more attention I would see Liz standing at my door when I come out of the elevator. I would have enough time to make a break for the stairs.
She coughs to catch my attention and when I look up I’m only two feet away from her. She’s standing there holding a bottle of rosé and the look on her face tells me she will chase me down and tackle me if I try to escape. I haven't seen her or any of my friends since I got back.
“Heeey,” I say as I slow to a complete stop.
She shakes her head with that are you fucking kidding me look. “Where do I start, Claudia?”
“Uh—”
“You never take my calls. You’ve barely responded to any of my or Brook or the girls’ texts? You blew Rayna off on her birthday and you look like complete shit.”
“This is Gucci, thank you very much.”
“Well it looks like you and Gucci haven’t eaten real food in two weeks.”
“Would you like to come inside?” I ask. She’s nowhere near done cussing me out, but we don’t need to do this in my hallway.
“How sweet of you! Of course I would.” I roll my eyes and nudge by her so I can unlock the door. I head straight inside. I set my things down and go right for the drawer where I keep the corkscrew. I turn around and hand it to her before I pull off my jacket. She sets it and the rosé down, takes off her own coat. I grab some wine glasses and walk over to the couch. She’s right behind me.
“You’d think we were friends,” she says under her breath.
“I’ve been busy.”
“Claudia.”
