“Yes.”
“Seeing you helps me too. I don't remember you being this tall.”
“I don't remember you being this sexy,” I say truthfully.
A hint of red crawls across her skin and she takes another sip of her beer. Then she clears her throat. “Don't say stuff like that.”
“I apologize. I won't do it again.”
“I just wanted to see you, but we’re practically strangers still. I don't think fucking you would be a good idea. You…nevermind. I can't say that.”
“Can't say what?” I push.
“I can't make a certain comparison. You and I don't have a before.”
“What do you mean?”
“You didn't know me before.”
“Have you changed?”
“Yes and no, but enough about me. Tell me about this gorgeous little mountain town. I thought it would be weird to be back, but it’s been okay. Everyone is so nice it's distracted me from any mounting anxiety.”
I almost laugh at the thought of Kaleb’s customer service voice and how Rich typically would have told me I could pick up my own damn beers at the bar.
“It's pretty much what you get is what you see. Permanent number of residents is pretty small. There are seasonal folks that come in the spring and the summer, but we all know each other pretty well for the most part.”
“And you have family here?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“It was me and my grandfather until he passed away about five years back,” I explain.
“So you're an orphan like me.”
“Not exactly. My parents are still alive. They split their time between Colorado and D.C.”
“Oh.”
“My father is a blue blood senator from Colorado, been in the public eye his whole life. My mom was his mistress. When his wife died, my mom dropped me here with my grandfather so she could marry him.”
Her mouth is sort of hanging open.
“Without this,” I scrub my beard with my fingers, “he and I could be twins. It wouldn't make sense if his new girlfriend already had a five year old that looked exactly like him. He thought it was better if I didn't exist.”
“Oh. Wow. Yeah. My whole family's just dead.”
“I think both are pretty fucked up.”
“True.”
I finally take a sip of my beer and decide it's best if we keep the conversation focused on her. I can't say anything else that won't scare her off.
“Not sure this makes sense considering what you’ve already told me, but are you okay?”
“Little of column A, little of column B.”
