“No one has made me feel anything like that before or since—certainly not Logan. I kept waiting to feel more for him. I mean, I like him. I respect him. On paper he’s perfect for me.”
“Except he’s not.”
Shelby shook her head. “I wish he were. It would be so much easier.”
“The heart wants what the heart wants.”
“My heart doesnotwant Gray. He’s a dead end. Grandville will never be his home. He made that clear even back then, and I can’t even blame him for feeling that way. I was an idiot for ever thinking we could work out.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
Shelby opened her mouth. Closed it again. Being with him again, she could see that young man who’d had everything stacked against him. The guy who was determined to make something of himself. The one who saw all the way down deep inside her and loved her anyway.
But she also saw the man he’d become. The one who’d risen from nothing. Who’d achieved his goals. He was steady and confident and comfortable with who he was. She was proud of him.
And every now and then he gazed at her as if he remembered what they’d had. Like he missed it too.
Liddy squeezed her arm. “We’re being honest, remember?”
Shelby released a sigh. “I think a part of me will always care about Gray. People say you never forget your first love. That first time you fall is such an incredible experience. The spark, the passion, the way it completely consumes you. Maybe that’s why I can’t seem to move on. Why I can’t seem to find anything that even comes close.”
“You should hold out for that, Shel. Don’t settle. You deserve to feel that way about someone. Deserve to be loved that way in return.”
“But how will I ever get there if I’m afraid of heartbreak?” Did she have the courage to let herself fall so deeply again?
“Is it fear of heartbreak or fear of abandonment?”
“They seem to be one and the same for me. How did Caleb survive unscathed? Mom left him too.”
“Oh, he didn’t. That particular issue has reared its ugly head a time or two. We’re working through it though. What we have, the love we have, is worth it. You remember what it feels like to be so deeply in love.”
She studied Liddy, who’d been married to Caleb for five years. “But doesn’t it... It can’t burn like that forever, can it? Doesn’t the thrill fade over time?”
Liddy smiled softly. “Well, it does change. New love is kind of like a sapling tree that pushes to the surface, fresh and beautiful and vibrant. But it’s also vulnerable because it’s young and fragile. Then over time its roots sink down deep so it can hold through the tough times—storms and droughts—because they’re inevitable. Mature love grows deeper, stronger, with a beauty all its own. That’s what Caleb and I have together. And it’s worth waiting for. It’s worth making yourself vulnerable in order to find it.”
Shelby’s eyes stung at the beautiful picture Liddy painted. Her heart clenched with yearning. “I want that.” But she’d have to be willing to risk heartbreak to get it.
Liddy pulled her into a hug. “You’ll find it. I know you will.”
“Thanks.” She gave Liddy a squeeze. She hoped she had the courage to open herself in that way. Having Gray in town, working with him, was bringing so many emotions to the surface. She wasn’t sure yet if that was good or bad.
But one thing she didn’t like was the way her brother and dad were responding to his presence. She pulled back from Liddy. “Maybe you can help me with Caleb. Why is he so stuck on this grudge against Gray?”
“Obviously he doesn’t want to see you hurt again. But part of me also thinks he’s fixating on it because... he’s got other things going on. Things he doesn’t necessarily want to dwell on.”
A knot of concern tightened in Shelby’s gut. “What’s going on? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. He just...” Liddy paused as if weighing how much she should say. “He’s having a bit of a dry spell with his work.”
“What? Since when?”
“Quite a while now. Let’s just say he was hoping the change in scenery would fix all his problems, and it hasn’t really worked out that way.”
Caleb entered with a stack of glasses. He took in the pair of them, then aimed a frown at his wife. “You told her.”
Liddy crossed her arms. “There’s too much secrecy going on around here. You guys are family. Act like it.” Giving him a pointed look, she left the room.
Caleb approached the sink and set the glasses in, his expression slack, his eyes dull.
