Maggie stared out the windshield where rivulets of rain spilled like tears down the glass. Ethan’s first year of college they’d gone through that rough spot. Being separated was harder than she expected. Shesaw him on social media at this party or that event, girls everywhere. Prettier girls, smarter girls, more interesting girls. She never knew how insecure she was until he left, and her mother’s insults buzzed like bees inside her head.
“You’re so jealous and insecure, Maggie. No wonder no one likes you.”
“Don’t be so boring.”
“You’ll never keep a man if you’re not interesting.”
Every time Ethan came home that first year, Maggie feared he’d break up with her. She hadn’t relaxed until the next year when she moved with her mother to Fayetteville, cutting the distance between them to a one-hour drive. Then the following year she joined him at college.
He welcomed her into his world, showed her around campus, introduced her to all his friends. She made a name for herself on the swim team and did well in her classes. Everything seemed good between them. They had a wonderful college experience. With the unsupervised hours studying and hanging out together, their relationship bloomed.
If Ethan had cheated on her during that first year apart, she would’ve known. His guilt would’ve exposed the truth.
“Talk to me, honey,” Josh said. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“It can’t be true, Josh. He wouldn’t have done that to me and he couldn’t have kept a secret like that for all those years.”
Josh took her hand in both of his. “No matter what, he loved you very much.”
“He wouldn’t have cheated on me.”There had to be some other explanation. “Maybe it really is all just a fluke. Maybe Will’s resemblance to Ethan is just one of those one-in-a-million things. Maybe we’ve been tearing our hair out all summer over some stupid genetic fluke.”
But the odds were so greatly against that happening right here. Even she couldn’t dismiss it as a coincidence. She studied Josh’s somberexpression, his sympathy-filled eyes. “You believe he did it.” Her words came out as an accusation.
He was quiet for a long beat. “I don’t want to believe it, honey. But I can’t find any other plausible explanation.”
If it were true, if Ethan really had cheated on her, he would’ve lied to her foryears. And if he could hide something like that, what else could he have lied about? Their relationship would’ve been a lie.
Their whole marriage would’ve been a lie.
“No, he didn’t do it.He didn’t do it.” But a sob built inside like a cresting wave. She tried to push it down, but there was no holding back the swell of emotion. It crashed into her with the force of a tidal wave.
Josh pulled her into his arms as sobs wracked her body. “He didn’t do it,” she repeated.
If Ethan could do this, then everything she believed about him was a lie. If someone loved you, they didn’t betray you. They didn’t lie to you about something so significant. They didn’t look you in the eyes and deceive you. Ethan was innocent.
But she cried anyway. Sobbed.
Josh tightened his embrace. His hands swept over her back, soothing. “I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted to do is hurt you.”
The rain pounded the roof. Her head throbbed. A golf ball lodged in her throat. By the time she pulled away from Josh, she felt like a gutted fish—raw, exposed, and rotting.
“Do you”—her breaths stuttered—“have a tissue? I’m sorry about your shirt.”
He reached into the glove compartment and came out with a napkin.
She blew her nose even while more tears trickled down her cheeks. It was getting dark now. Past the wet windshield the restaurant’slights gleamed. She was a wreck. She was deflated and her appetite was long gone. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“What do you want to do? Anything. Just name it.”
She wanted to go home, pull the covers over her head, and forget the doubts swirling in her mind. But that wasn’t an option. Her in-laws and daughter were there. “Does your dad know about Will?”
“No, I didn’t tell him anything. It’s up to you what happens from here, Maggie. And you don’t have to do anything right now. Nothing at all.”
“I don’t wanna go home. I’m a mess and I don’t think I could possibly act normal.”
“Okay.”
“Can we go to your place? I just want to hide until they’re all in bed. I can’t face them tonight.” Not with so many unanswered questions. Not with this boulder sitting on her heart.
