He squeezed her hand. “But is that all we can ever be, Maggie?”
The naked yearning in his eyes made her heart ache. How long had he felt this way? How long had he been pretending to be just her friend? Her brother?
And she was no better. Maybe that kiss had been the truest thing that had ever happened between them. Because if she was gut-level honest—she had not been thinking of her late husband that night.
“Maggie? Have I scared you to death?”
A laugh trembled out. “Yes.”
He leaned forward, his eyes like a laser on her. “Tell me what you’re afraid of. Let’s talk this through.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” she blurted.
He offered a compassionate smile. “You will never lose me.”
“You can’t know that. Relationships go sour all the time. Things happen and feelings get hurt and people get angry. How often do breakups end in friendship? Almost never.”
“We haven’t even had a first date and you already have us breaking up.”
“I’m serious, Josh. Take you and Samantha. You guys were in love and now she can hardly stand the sight of you.”
Something undecipherable flashed in his eyes. He shook his head. “That would never happen between us. We have a long history, you and me. We’ve already been through a lot together, and I care way too much about you not to want you in my life.”
“You say that now.”
“I promise you—Maggie, look at me—I promise you I will alwaysbe part of your life—yours and Zoey’s—no matter what happens.” His countenance fell and his eyes softened as pain flickered there. “The way I feel about you won’t change—even if you say no tonight.”
It might just break his heart if she did, though. It was suddenly as clear as air. And oh, she didn’t want to hurt him. She squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t want to hurt herself either, and that seemed destined to happen if things didn’t work out. If they broke up. If he got bored with her.
Josh didn’t exactly have a great track record. With the exception of Samantha, his average relationship had lasted approximately three seconds. He’d had so many women Maggie couldn’t begin to remember their names. He’d told her once, after the breakup of yet another brief relationship, that he’d gotten bored with her.
Just the thought that he might find her lacking opened a hollow spot inside. Made her feel achy and vulnerable in a way that triggered sheer terror.
“You’re thinking awfully hard over there. Anything you wanna share?”
“Just... walking through this.” She couldn’t tell him the truth. He’d just deny that she could ever bore him. He’d say they knew each other well already and he didn’t find her boring in the least—and he’d have a good point. Still, there was that terror.
“If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?”
Her pulse thrummed in her temples as their gazes mingled. “Of course.”
He glanced down at the table, then back up at her. “Do you think you could—” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Could you ever feel more for me than friendship?”
She already did. That kiss had proven it to her, even if she had denied it. Blocked it. Buried it. Because there was so much to lose here.
“Stop, Maggie. Stop weighing the pros and cons and just tell me the God’s honest truth.”
“Yes.” The word left her tongue before she could stop it. She bit her lip.
His eyes lit and that quirky grin followed.
Oh yes, she could fall in love with that face. With this man. She was afraid she was already halfway there.
He took her other hand in his. “Then go out with me, Maggie. Let’s see where this leads. We don’t have to make an announcement or plan out the future. Just a date. Don’t look now, but we’re practically on one at this very moment.”
Oh, man. She was really going to do this. Her nerves rattled until her hands trembled. “One step at a time?”
“We can go slow. Handle it however you want.” His eyes pierced hers.
