“That’s okay. What you’re doing right now means the world to us.”
Eyes fixed on his hands, Rocky seemed to travel back in time as he spoke. “It was just a normal day. All the routine things. We did our jobs, cut up, poked at each other. Then someone brought in this Iraqi woman. One of our guys found her on a road outside the base, passed out and bleeding. Hollywood was first on hand. He went over to assess her injuries.” Rocky swallowed again. A mottled red stain climbed his neck and flushed his cheeks.
“That’s when the explosion happened. I was lucky. It just threw me back into a bed. I didn’t even lose consciousness. But when I gathered my wits, my ears were ringing and I just—I was like,Thisisn’t happening, you know? We train for all sorts of terrible things. It felt so surreal. Like it was happening to somebody else.”
Maggie’s heart shriveled inside her chest. Her shallow breaths left her dizzy.
Josh leaned forward. “You said Ethan went to assess her. Where was he when the explosion took place?”
“He was—he was right there. Bedside. One second he was there and the next... It was quick. He didn’t suffer. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that.”
Her eyes filled with tears. She tried to think of something to say.But she couldn’t think beyond the gut-wrenching sense of hopelessness spreading like poison through her veins.
Under the table, Josh took her hand. “So you’re 100 percent certain Ethan couldn’t have survived?”
Grant blinked. Opened his mouth. “No. I saw... He didn’t survive.” He looked back at Maggie, questions in his eyes.
“We—” She cleared the croak from her voice. “We just had to be certain. You know. They didn’t tell us much.”
“I wish so badly I could say otherwise...” His gaze fell to the table and the muscles in his jaw ticked as he seemed to go back in time. “I’m so sorry. I’ve wished a million times I could trade places with him. I’m not married, no kids.” He glanced over at Zoey. “He should’ve been here to be a dad to her. He was so happy about becoming a father. He’d shown me the ultrasound the night before.” Grant shook his head, his eyes glazing over, remnants of shock and horror in his expression.
She couldn’t fathom what that room must’ve looked like following the explosion. It had left seven people dead and more injured. But Maggie could barely process the idea that the hope building relentlessly for ten days was false.
They were right back where they’d been before she’d seen Ethan’s look-alike. No. It was much worse than that. That terrible news seemed to have stripped away all the progress she’d made over the past five years. Now grief rose inside, threatening to engulf her all over again. She stuffed it down.
“I wasn’t sure how much they’d told you,” Rocky said. “I hope I didn’t—”
“You told us the truth.” Josh’s voice had a ragged edge. “That’s what we came for.”
She’d actually let herself believe, just a little, that Ethan might be out there somewhere. She swallowed against the boulder in her throat.
“I’ve wondered a hundred times how you’re doing, Maggie. Hollywood was so smitten with you. He had your pictures by his bed and bragged so much when you got pregnant.” He glanced over at Zoey, who sipped milk from a straw. “She smiles like him.”
Maggie tried to lift her lips. Tried to find comfort in his words. But her heart felt like a barren wasteland. The emotions bubbled to the surface, threatening to erupt with the force of a volcano. “Excuse me. I need to use the restroom.”
Chapter 13
Maggie hadn’t said a word since they’d left the diner. She returned from the restroom with puffy, red-rimmed eyes, appearing ravaged by grief. Josh wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her—comfort them both. But Zoey looked on and Maggie wouldn’t want to frighten and confuse her.
Somehow Josh held it together while Rocky told him stories about Ethan. When the man was called back to work, they exchanged heartfelt hugs and promises to keep in touch.
Now Josh glanced in the rearview mirror. Zoey talked to herself, her chatter barely filtering through his fog of disappointment. Yeah, he’d told himself they were only coming here to eliminate all doubt. But that seed of hope had sprouted in both of them. He could only imagine what Maggie was feeling, but they’d been unable to talk with Zoey nearby.
Following the guidance of the GPS, he turned into a residential neighborhood and spotted the destination ahead. He shut off the navigation, then pulled along the curb lined with two-story homes situated on small lots.
“Where are we?” As if awakening from a long slumber, Maggie glanced around, looking lost, and he felt a pinch in his chest.
“At a park. I thought we could let Zoey burn off some energy before the trip back.” He shut off the engine.
“Okay.” Maggie got out, moving slowly.
“Zoey, stay put a minute, okay? I’m gonna help your mom with something.”
“Okay.”
After turning up the playlist of her favorite songs, he exited the car and met Maggie at the back. Those big brown eyes were so sad. Her wet eyelashes clumped together. Pink bloomed on the tip of her nose.
He opened his arms to her, and she fell into him, clutching him tightly. His embrace seemed to unleash a torrent of sorrow, and the raw sound of her grief wrenched his heart. “I know, honey. I know.”
