Her pulse racing, she checked the time. If she left now, she would arrive in the middle of the night. That would be crazy. If she had any brains at all, she’d get a good night’s sleep and wait till morning.
But who was she kidding? She couldn’t sleep now. And the thought of staying in this big, empty apartment for one more night made her want to weep. She wanted to be homeright now.
She set aside her laptop and popped to her feet, startling Graham. “Wanna go for a ride, boy? Huh? Wanna go home?” Graham’s mouth curved into that familiar doggy smile.
Chapter 38
A text awakened Jonah from his fitful sleep. Judging from the faint light streaming into his cabin, the day was just dawning. He reached blindly for his phone.
The text was from Javi.Morning. Thanks for lending an ear yesterday. Let’s get together again soon.
Jonah set the phone back on the nightstand. They’d gone snowmobiling yesterday and had stopped at Birdie’s Deli for a late dinner. Javi and his wife were doing much better now that the slow season was underway. Jonah was glad to hear it. When Javi had asked about him, Jonah tried to put on a good face. But Javi had seen right through him.
“I know you miss her, man. You don’t have to pretend.”
“I’m not trying to pretend. I just... There’s nothing to be done, you know? It is what it is. I just have to...”Forget her? Fall out of love with her? How did a person even go about that?“Move on.”
Javi leaned back in the booth. “Allison told me about Carson. Is that what’s eating at you?”
Because, yes, Carson had gotten that residency in Boston he’d been hoping for. He’d soon be in Lauren’s backyard for the foreseeable future. He’d probably already reached out and invited her to dinner or something. Jealousy twisted Jonah’s gut. He should want the best for her. So why did the thought of her with another man make him crazy? “She deserves to be happy.”
“She was happy with you. I saw it firsthand.”
“Sadly, she doesn’t remember that.” He gave his head a shake. “She’s made her choice. She doesn’t want me anymore.” Voicing the thought made his bruised heart ache.
Javi regarded him for a long moment. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’d hoped it would work out.”
Jonah shoved the memory away and pushed out of bed. He just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. These past seven weeks he’d powered through the days one hour at a time—and he’d go on doing so. What choice did he have?
He stretched out his back. Cedar didn’t have the most comfortable mattress, but he’d refused to take Lauren’s cabin. No way would he live and sleep in a place that still smelled like her.
But he couldn’t get away from her. Everywhere he looked, there was Lauren. Not only in the cabin where she’d slept, but on the pier and in the lodge. The coffee shop, his favorite restaurants. Not to mention the barn. It turned out his parents had been right about that. Her fingerprints were on every square inch of the place. It was a monstrous monument to the woman he loved.
And there was no avoiding it because he had to maintain it and oversee its rental. A day didn’t go by that the venue didn’t absorb some of his time. Part of him wished he could just let the weeds claim it again, but that wasn’t an option. The renovation had been costly. It would earn itself out, but that would take time. Maybe it had been a smart business decision, but it was eating away at his soul.
When he got down or felt lonely, he tried to imagine Lauren in Boston, living her best life. He pictured her thriving in her new job, happy andfulfilled. But there was no man in this imaginary utopia. He couldn’t quite get there yet.
In reality he had no real idea what her life was like. She rarely posted on social media. But he had been stalking the Glitter website. A few weeks ago they’d added her professional headshot along with a bio. The brief paragraph told him nothing new. But he spent way too much time gazing at the beautiful photo, wondering if she was happy. If she missed him at all.
Enough wallowing.
Jonah went to turn on the shower. The best thing he could do was stay busy. So as he stepped under the spray of water he turned his mind to his job, mentally reviewing his chores and errands for the day. First on the list: restocking the dwindling woodpile.
***
A thud awakened Lauren. She stirred from the semiconscious state she’d been in since she’d flung herself into bed. She pulled the covers to her chin, hunkering against the morning chill as the memory of last night rose like fog in her brain.
She’d arrived at the resort around three and searched for a vacancy. Apparently Jonah had not taken her old cabin—the dusting of snow in front of the door was undisturbed. She made herself at home in her old bed and waited for morning.
She must’ve fallen asleep. She stretched, becoming more aware. Early dawn light seeped through the curtains. And the rhythmic thudding coming from outside jarred her wide awake. She smiled at the familiar sound. Jonah was chopping wood.
She flung off the covers and went to the window. Through the parted curtains, she spotted him down the way and her heart bucked.
Then slowly, trepidation leaked through her veins like poison. What if he’d given up on her? What if he didn’t want her back? She’d left him in the dust for ajob. How stupid she’d been. Why was hindsight so clear?
Graham nuzzled her hand and she petted him absently. Then she went to the bathroom for a quick refresh. The mirror revealed a disheveled, worried version of herself.
After swishing the complimentary mouthwash, she smoothed her hair and slapped some pink into her cheeks. “All right, girl. This is it. Be brave.” She left the bathroom and put on her shoes and coat, then regarded Graham. “We’re gonna do this, buddy. You ready?”
