Well, that wasn’t true. He was about to hop on his bike and set off for someplace new.
But the thought only left him achy inside. Being untethered to anyone or any place used to make him feel free. Invigorated. Why did it now make him feel lonely instead? And when had that shift occurred?
He forced his thoughts in a new direction. Toward that dream job awaiting him at Belle Vista. Thankfully, he’d never gotten around to telling the manager he wouldn’t be coming. Maybe Gunner had known all along it would never work with Charlotte. With anyone.
He shook away the depressing notion and focused instead on his upcoming job. Working with a winning Derby horse was a real honor. He waited for the punch of excitement that thoughts of Belle Vista used to bring. But it didn’t come. He had to face facts: ever since that first kiss with Charlotte, his dreams had begun to shift.
But now it was time to get his head on straight.
He entered the quiet cabin, his gaze falling on the empty duffel bag he’d left on the bed. After the breakup he’d told himself he’d stay till Saturday. He’d leave once he was sure Charlie wouldn’t need help with Trail Days. Maybe he’d just been kidding himself. Maybe he’d just been delaying the moment when he put Riverbend and Charlie in his rearview mirror.
Anyway, he hadn’t heard from her at all. Not that he’d really expected to.
The last three days had passed slower than a mare’s gestation. He’d done some biking on the winding mountain roads. Playeda lot of chess with Mr. Dixon. He’d even rented fishing gear from the outfitters shop and spent a day casting his line into the river. He’d thought a lot about his mom and dad that day.
The window air conditioner hummed loudly as he gathered the contents of a drawer and dumped them into the duffel bag. Time to hit the road. There was nothing left for him here. He didn’t have to be at Belle Vista for another ten days. He’d take his time, stop in Gatlinburg and Knoxville and any other place that caught his eye along the way. He’d arrive in Lexington with plenty of time to find a place and settle in.
He put the last of his things into his duffel. Glanced around the cabin. It had taken only five minutes to clear the room of all his possessions. That’s what happened when you traveled light. The thought usually pleased him. Made him feel a little superior, if he was honest. But today the realization fell flat.
A knock sounded on the door. His head snapped that way.Charlie?
His pulse raced at the possibility of her just on the other side of that door.Stupid.She was working at Trail Days. She’d have no reason to come here. Probably figured he was already long gone.
Still, he couldn’t quell the foolish glimmer of hope. Until he opened the door. Wes stood on the stoop. His dark-blond hair was windblown, his facial muscles tense. The man’s gaze shifted past Gunner, then returned to his face. “So it’s true. You’re leaving.”
Gunner left the door open as he turned back inside. “Word travels fast.”
Wes followed him inside and pushed the door shut. “This the way you usually do it? Just pick up and go when the mood strikes?”
“I was gonna stop by and see you on my way out of town. I have a job lined up—everybody knew that.”
“But then you and Charlotte got together and everyone assumed you’d rethought your plans.”
“Myself included. But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” That same feeling he’d had earlier pinched inside at his proclamation.
Wes shelved his hands on his hips. “What happened? You guys seemed really happy together.”
They had been happy. Making her laugh was the best kind of reward. Having her in his arms was a feeling just this side of heaven. His stomach twisted at the thought of leaving her. He would only have memories to keep him warm on the lonely winter nights to come.
“Did you have an argument or something?”
“No.”
“Then what? Why aren’t you sticking around? Making things work out? I thought you liked it here.”
“I do. I’m just—I can’t do it, the whole settling down thing. I start feeling, I don’t know, all cooped up inside.”
Wes studied him for a long moment, his gaze penetrating like a hot laser.
“What?”Gunner turned and zipped his duffel bag.
“Are you sure that’s the problem? Because that doesn’t account for the panic I see in your eyes. Look, I know you lost everything when you were a kid. You never went into the details, but that must’ve been pretty hard. Maybe that screwed you up. Maybe it explains this free-and-easy lifestyle of yours.”
The words hit their target. Gunner gritted his teeth. “I don’t need you to analyze me.”
“Somebody has to. You’re a thirty-four-year-old man who can fit everything he owns on the back of his bike. A guy who’s uncomfortable with the idea of home, close friends, family. Everything in your life is temporary. That sounds to me like a guy who’s afraid of losing again.”
“Yeah, well, losing everything bites. Maybe I don’t want to risk that again. That doesn’t make me a monster.”
