He conceded with a nod. “All right, the nightIbroke up. It wasn’t an easy decision, Mia. I still had feelings for you, but I felt... that things weren’t going anywhere.”
She gaped at him. “What do you mean ‘not going anywhere’? We were engaged and planning a wedding, Wes.”
“Those are external things. I mean internally. We enjoyed each other’s company, we had a lot in common, and we were in love, but...”
She waited for him to finish. He was obviously struggling to get it out. “But?”
He looked at her, holding her gaze for a long moment. “I always felt like you were... holding back or something.”
Her chest tightened. “Holding back what?”
“I don’t know. Like you’d let me get so close, but no closer. I don’t mean to put the blame on you—”
“Well, that’s how it feels.”
“This isn’t about blame, Mia. I’m just trying to tell you I wanted to feel more intimacy with you, with the woman who was going to be my wife. I thought surely once we were engaged things would change. And it scared me to death, thinking I might care about someone who didn’t care as much about me. I kept trying to draw you out, but it was like there was a wall I couldn’t get through.”
“That’s not true,” she said. But his words hit a soft, achy target deep inside.
“I’m just telling you how I felt, and I felt that you held me at arm’s length. Some of that may have been me. Who knows? Maybe I didn’t make you feel secure enough or something.”
She wanted to jump on that last part and refute everything else. But she knew in her core there was some truth to what he said. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
He gave her a wan smile. “I should have. Instead, I tried to get you to open up to me. I’d ask you questions about your childhood, about your father. You never wanted to talk about any of it. You brushed me off, changed the subject. Made a joke. You never let things get too serious. Never let me get as close as I wanted to be—or at least that’s how it felt.”
He gave a harsh laugh. “I sound like a girl right now. I know. But I wanted more of you, and I despaired of ever getting it. I eventually decided I just wasn’t the one for you. If I were, you wouldn’t be holding out, you know? So I made the decision to break it off. It wasn’t easy for me though, Mia. I want you to know that.”
Her eyes burned, and she tried to place the feeling washing over her. Regret, maybe. But not regret that they hadn’t become husband and wife.
The warm way he looked at her was familiar and satisfying. But Mia didn’t feel drawn to him like she used to. Even now, realizing their breakup might not have been his fault at all, it didn’t bring back those loving feelings. What she’d felt for him was gone.
Maybe it was the recent presence of Levi in her life, or perhaps it was just the realization that she’d never truly felt at home with Wes. She still cared about him, but she didn’t love him anymore. It was a freeing thought. A freeing feeling.
In truth, she already felt closer to Levi than she ever had to Wes, something she hadn’t been aware of until this moment. How had that happened so quickly? Was it because she was so far removed from her normal life, with more time to think and process? How had she let him in so far, and more importantly, how could she make sure she didn’t make the same mistake with Levi that she’d made with Wes?
Wes set his hand over hers and squeezed it. “I just couldn’t let you go on thinking I’d used you. That I didn’t love you. Because I did, Mia. I just realized I wasn’t the man for you, and so I let you go.”
***
Technically Levi was working the front desk. But their guests were out enjoying the sunny day, so his job really only amounted to answering phones. And he could hear them just as well from the back of the inn.
He parted the gauzy white curtains in the library, catching sight of Mia and Wes on the Adirondack chairs. He glared at the back of Wesley’s head. What gave him the right to just barge in on Mia like this? She’d come here to get away from everything.
What could the man possibly want that he couldn’t have accomplished with a phone call? No need to drop in on her out of nowhere.
Levi wished he could see Mia’s face. Maybe then he’d have some clue how she felt about Wesley’s sudden appearance. And yes, how she felt about Wesley, period. Last they’d spoken on the subject she hadn’t felt too warmly toward him. But men like Wesley could be charming, and she’d fallen for him once before, hadn’t she?
“You’re spying on them?” Molly leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed, disapproval on her face.
Levi went back to his surveillance. “Weren’t you supposed to be going somewhere?”
“I canceled my plans. No way am I leaving you here with Wesley after what just went down in the lobby.”
“Didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did. Look at you.”
All Levi could look at was Mia and Wesley. Just then the man reached across the space and put his hand over Mia’s.
