“But you probably just wanted nothing more to do with men after all that,” Emma said.
“Oh, I don’t want you to think we had forty miserable years, girls. We had good times.” She gave them a wobbly smile. “More like thirty-two happy years and eight miserable ones.”
Maddy’s breath escaped on a laugh.
But the levity evaporated like a morning mist over the harbor. Her wonderful father had had a secret wife. Her honorable grandpa had been unfaithful. And even as her head spun with the revelations, a vague fear rose inside her, old and familiar, its darkness nearly swallowing her whole.
Chapter 31
The sisters quietly went about supper preparations and sat down to sandwiches and soup. A strained silence hung over the table. Each of them seemed lost in her own thoughts. After supper Gram retired, exhausted, no doubt from her travel and the emotional conversation.
The sisters rehashed everything until Nora went to bed. Emma took a call from Ethan out on the deck, and Maddy found herself at loose ends. She retreated to her room but couldn’t seem to settle. She paced the floor, wishing she could shake the feelings that welled up inside.
She could hardly absorb it all. Everything she’d believed about her dad was a lie. If he loved her mother, how could he have done something so hurtful to her? To all of them? Is that what love was? She didn’t understand at all.
She grabbed the back of her neck. Her poor mama. She couldn’t imagine how it must’ve felt to find her husband had betrayed her in such a terrible way. To find out he’d had a second wife tucked away.
Her whole marriage must’ve seemed like a lie. She must’ve been so heartsore. She must’ve felt like a fool. Maddy felt a little like a fool herself even though she’d only been a child.
Daddy, how could you?
Her eyes burned and her throat ached. She dropped to the edge of her bed and wept quietly.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there when a text buzzed in. She wiped her eyes and checked the screen. Connor.
Finishing up now. Be there in a half hour or so.
Maddy’s stomach clenched hard at the thought of seeing him. Her heart felt bruised and achy. She was in a terrible frame of mind. Furthermore, the thought of surrendering to the love she was beginning to feel for him felt like taking a step off a cliff.
She thought of Nick and the way he’d betrayed her so blatantly. Maybe she was attracted to men like her father and grandfather. Was there something inside her that made her fall under the spell of unfaithful men?
She thought of Nora and how she’d fallen for Jonathan—a man who’d betrayed Emma to be with her.
Her thoughts went back to that night that last summer. To the way her father had sided with Nora when he’d found out what had been going on. No wonder. He’d no doubt related to her because of the way he’d been carrying on behind their mother’s back.
And her mother... Maddy’s skin tingled with sudden realization. No wonder Mama had been so cross with Daddy that night. He’d all but excused what Nora and Jonathan were doing. And she had sided with Emma because she knew all too well what betrayal felt like.
The pieces clicked together as understanding washed over her. Even so it was all so disheartening. Maddy raked her fingers through the hair at her neck. So overwhelming.
She looked back at her phone, scanning Connor’s text. She couldn’t see him tonight. She just couldn’t. The thought of a relationship with him now felt like a terrible idea. She’d been stupid to pursue it. What was she, a glutton for punishment or something? Shouldn’t her cluelessness with Nick have been enough to warn her off relationships?
In her heart she believed Connor would never cheat on anyone. But hadn’t she once thought the same thing about Nick? About her father? About her grandfather?
She’d been right all along. Love was too big a risk.
She lifted her phone.If you wouldn’t mind, maybe we could take tonight off. There’s a lot going on over here with Gram’s return.
Her thumb poised over the Send button for a long moment while she read her words. Then she touched the button. Her heart stuttered in her chest as she waited. As she watched the screen, three dots appeared in the text box.
Then his text came in.Everything okay?
Maddy gave a rueful laugh. Nothing was okay. Not by a long shot. She felt as if her entire world had been turned on end.
But that wasn’t what Connor meant.
We’re fine. Get some rest. You’ve got another busy day tomorrow.
His text came in within seconds.All right. Take care. XO
