“I’m far from innocent, Natalia. And so are you. After all, you’re the one who made us go into that building, remember? Ifyou hadn’t let Keith talk you into it, none of this ever would’ve happened. But you ignored your gut and listened to him, so this…” He held his arms out at his sides and grinned. “This is all because of you.”
He’s wrong, darlin’.Jagger’s voice spoke clearly in her mind.We talked about this, remember? What happened to Julian isn’t on you.
Natalia had spent years blaming herself for Julian’s death, and now he was here. In the living flesh. And he was telling her it was all her fault.
I’m so sorry, Julian. More than you’ll ever know.
Guilt assaulted her, and it would be so easy to fall back into old habits. To let the ghosts from the past dictate whether or not she had a future.
If this had all happened a few weeks ago—or hell, even a fewdaysago—Natalia would most likely accept her execution as fate’s way of righting the world. A fitting punishment for being derelict in her duty and causing the death—physical or otherwise—of a man she’d once considered her closest friend.
But that was before Jagger had fully entered her life. He’d been there previously, of course, but only in background through work…and the secrecy of her dreams.
Things between them had transpired so quickly. Theirs was the very definition of a whirlwind romance. And yet, in many ways, the love they shared had been forming beneath the surface for the past few years, waiting for the right time to shine.
That time was now, and Natalia wasn’t about to let Julian take it away.
“You want someone to blame for the choice you made to become a criminal?” she challenged back. “Well, I suggest you look in the mirror, Julian. Because the only one you have to blame is yourself.”
“No!”He charged toward her.
With her back to the wall, there was nowhere to go.
“I didn’t choose this, Natalia.” Julian bent down and grabbed her jaw tightly in his fist. “It was either do what al-Asiri said or die. So I chose to live.”
“But you got…away from…al-Asiri!” she growled through the pain of his unforgiving grip. “You’re doing dirty work for…Sanchez, now. And that…is a choice…youmade.”
“What the hell was I supposed to do? Come back to the CIA and hope to be welcomed with open arms? Even if they hadn’t already covered up what happened with my supposed death, I’d already done too much bad shit for al-Asiri.” He shoved her face roughly away. “I murdered people for him, Natalia. Women…” His Adams apple bobbed as he lowed his voice to a deep whisper. “Children.”
Oh, Julian.
“You sold your soul.”
His head moved in a jerky nod. “And since I’m already going to Hell, I figured I may as well take you and Sinclair with me.”
Keith?
Her heart gave a hard kick. “Julian, please tell me you didn’t?—”
“Stab him a bunch of times and leave him bleeding out on his living room floor?” He shot her a pointed look. “Okay, fine.” A slight shrug. “I won’t tell you that.”
Please, no.
Keith wasn’t a man Natalia particularly liked, but she’d never have wished him dead.
“You…killed him?”
“Sure did.” A smug smile spread across Julian’s face. “You should’ve seen the guy, Tal. He actually cried, can you believe that? Big, tough, self-described super-agent, Keith Fucknut Sinclair. The man was a blubbering mess of tears and snot as he begged me to let him live.”
When he let out a hysterical laugh, the breath in her lungs hitched in disbelief. As she sat there, Natalia knew she was staring into the eyes of a stranger. Julian may have survived the explosion years ago, but he’d suffered the death of his soul.
“Why now?” Natalia had to know. “It’s been three years, Julian. Why come after us now?”
“Would you believe it if I said it was fate?” He stood again. “Long story short, I’ve got a guy in Homeland who’s helped me out on a few things over the years. Most recently, he gave me a heads-up on an investigation your agency was pursuing against Sanchez. Since the man is my most current boss, it’s my duty to make sure I learned all I could about what the government knew. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the lead agent on the case wasyou.” His eerie laugh echoed. “A few internet searches and a touch of manipulation later, and voila! A down-and-out Keith was accepting a last-minute job at the very same port you planned to hit.”
Natalia’s aching head worked to make sense of what she was hearing. In an unbelievable twist, the pieces of their lives had moved in tandem to bring her, Julian, and Keith back together in a horrific way.
Keith had pressured her to go into the building that day. And by ignoring her instincts, Julian had been left to die, buried beneath the rubble of a terrorist’s hideout.
