“I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not.”
“No, you just don’t think you deserve the same happiness the rest of us do. And I get it, Dig.” Shadow released a sardonic chuckle. “Trust me, I’m the queen of self-deprecating. Why do you think I spent so much time on the computer as a child? I could make it do whatever I wanted. Be whoever I wanted to be. There was no judgement from other kids like I got at school. No field trips or class parties where everyone’s mom showed up but mine. No one to point and whisper about the poor little girl who saw her mommy get shot in the head.”
“You’re more than that, and you know it.”
“I do now. Or at least I’m starting to see it. But it’s so obvious to me thatyoudon’t seeyourworth. It breaks my heart to know you don’t believe you deserve the same happiness the other guys on the team have all found. To know that, deep down, you honestly don’t think you deserve to be…loved. And before you get your panties in a twist, I’m not saying you and I are destined for forever. I’m just saying you should have that withsomeone, you know? Or at least give it a try. I mean…what’s the worst that could happen?”
“The worst that could…” He shook his head as his face twisted into an incredulous stare. “You’veseenthe worst, Alice. You know exactly what happens to the women who end up with guys like us.”
She blinked in what appeared to be a shocked reaction to hearing him say her real name for the very first time. But almost as quickly, a sad smile lifted the corners of Shadow’s mouth as she took a few hesitant steps forward.
“You’re right. Ihaveseen what happened to them.” Her gaze remained locked onto his as she listed off his teammates’ women. “Avery, Nicki, Evie…I’ve seen all of their smiles and heard their laughter. I know all about the weddings I never attended and their promises of a future none of them can wait to fulfill.”
“That’s not what I?—”
“I know what you meant,” she interrupted him again. “And trust me, I get that I probably sound like the world’s biggest hypocrite right now. It’s just that…I don’t know.” Shadow blew out a frustrated breath. “I guess almost dying twice in less than a week has given me some perspective on a few things. Namely, I finally realized just how precious the time we have here really is. And I don’t know about you, but I’m sick to death of wasting it. Because in case you hadn’t noticed, that’s what people like us do.”
Slade remained quiet, his muscles unmoving as he processed everything he’d just heard. This woman—this incredible, frustrating, amazing woman—was actually mad that she couldn’t see himself through her gorgeous eyes.
“We spend our lives keeping everyone at arm’s length until one day we wake up and there’s no one left to hold onto,” Shadow continued. “And I want someone to hold onto, Dig. Even if it’s only for a little while. It’s taken me a long time to see it, but I finally realized I deserve at least that much. And whether you want to believe it, you do, too.”
It made no sense that this woman saw him as someone so deserving.
The obstinate beauty knew him in action, first-hand. From behind her computer, she’d witnessed him as the hardened Tac-Ops team leader.
Shadow had listened through the team’s comms as he’d taken multiple enemy lives. And despite all of that—and his less than sunny disposition—she’d still said all those wonderful things.
But what surprised him even more was the fact that Shadow genuinely seemed tobelievethem. And if he was being completely honest, as he stood there staring back at her, he had no idea what he was supposed to do with all of that.
You know exactly what you should do. You’re just afraid you’ll do something to screw it all up.
Slade locked eyes with the woman he was beginning to think was his personal savior, knowing they were opposites in about every way that mattered. But perhaps it wasbecauseof those same differences that they somehow made the perfectly imperfect pair.
He took a step toward her, first one and then another. Moving slowly, his eyes never once left hers. And when he was mere inches from where she stood, Slade stopped.
He didn’t speak, because he was a man of action. In fact, Slade didn’t utter a solitary sound. Instead he brought a hand to the unbruised side of her face. And when he leaned in close…he slammed his mouth to hers.
* * *
“One job.”Doug Easton fumed at the man he’d trusted to get the job done. “You hadonefucking job, and yet, she’s still alive.”
Andrew Reiner—a mid-level field agent Doug had easily blackmailed into doing his bidding—stared up at him with a guarded expression. “Like I told you on the phone, there was a problem with the device.”
“A problem.” Doug huffed out a breath with a disbelieving shake of his head.
“Yes, Easton. A problem.” The shorter-than-average man glared. “Look, I get that it didn’t go as planned but shit like this happens more than you think.”
“Shit happens? That’s all you have to say?”
“There’s not much else Icansay.”
“You could tell me you have another way to eliminate the problem. Otherwise, I’ll have to pay that pretty, unsuspecting wife of yours a visit to let her know her husband hasn’t just lied to her about what he does for a living, but he’s also been sleeping with another agent for the past six months.”
Reiner’s entire existence was filled with danger and death, yet the threat Doug had just laid down at the other man’s feet created a visible flash of fear. A thin layer of visible threat beaded on the short bastard’s forehead as he took an angry step forward.
“I told you I’d take care of it, and I will,” he vowed. “In fact, if you’d given me time to talk, rather than barging in here with your admonishments and threats, I would have told you I already know exactly where the target is.”
Doug’s heart kicked hard with a hope he knew he shouldn’t possess. “Where?”
