“He looked me in the eye and told me he understood why I did what I’d done. That there were times in life when lying was necessary. To protect ourselves or the ones we love.”
Understanding filled Coop’s eyes. “He was talking about Liv.”
Mac nodded. At the time, Jake had been lying to his now-wife for nearly half a decade. Not so long ago, before they were married, one of those lies had nearly cost him everything.
“Jake made a promise to me that day. Said my true identity would stay between me, him, Trevor, and Ryker. As far as he was concerned, it had no bearing on my military record, nor my ability to do my job as part of Alpha Team.” She blinked against the sudden burning in her eyes. “He told me if I ever wanted to reveal the truth to you and the others, it was up to me.”
Coop’s forehead creased, and he looked away. God, she hated that she’d caused this man so much pain.
“I’m sorry, Sean.” She licked her dry lips. “I should’ve told you who I really was a long time ago. Should’ve told you about all of it. My family, the money…Luca. But I was afraid once I did, I’d see that look in your eyes. Turns out, I was right.”
“What look?”
“The one you had when I opened the door a few minutes ago. It’s like you’ve closed yourself off to me. I know I deserve it. I deserve a hell of a lot worse than that, actually.” Mac wiped away a single tear. “You’ve been such a good friend to me, Sean. Even when I was a complete bitch, you still managed to smile and carry on like I was the best person to be around.”
“You’re not a bitch, Mac.”
“Oh, but I can act like one. I can also be completely selfish, which is why I never wanted you to know all this stuff about me. You’re such a good, honest man. I couldn’t stand knowing you thought less of me.”
The skin on his forehead creased together. “Why in the hell would I have thought less of you?”
“Come on, Sean.” Mac shot him a knowing gaze. “I’m the mobster’s daughter, remember? Niece to the infamous crime boss. I stabbed a man, stole two million dollars, and entered the United States Military under a false name.”
“Mac.” He reached for her, but this time she was the one who stepped back.
“Please, don’t.” If he touched her, she’d never be able to get through this. “All the honor and integrity they taught us about in boot camp and with the Rangers? I betrayed that honor every single day I served. I’ve been betraying you and Derek and Grant from the second I joined R.I.S.C. and became part of Alpha Team.”
“With our boss’s blessing.” He took a hesitant step toward her. “Jake McQueen is the most honorable man I know. If he agreed to let you continue living the lie, he must’ve seen something in you worth keeping your secret.”
“He didn’t do it for me.” Mac shook her head confidently.
Coop took another step closer. “You sure about that?”
Her tears kept coming. “It doesn’t matter, anymore. There’s too much, Sean. Too much death. Too much baggage.”
“Newsflash, sweetheart. We all have baggage.”
Mac forced herself to look him in the eyes. “You heard what Luca said. About the night I stabbed him. That was my last secret.” She swiped at a trail of fresh tears. “I never wanted you to find out about that night.”
“I’ve never wanted to kill someone more than I did today.”
Coop’s words came out rough, deadly, and Mac knew he was telling the truth. She could still see the unhinged fury in his eyes when he’d been on that floor, beating the hell out of Luca earlier.
“When I heard that bastard talking to you like that, when I imagined you as a young girl having to go through what the son of a bitch tried to do to you, I swear to God I’ve never been more enraged in my life.” Coop brushed his knuckles down her damp cheeks. “Or more proud.”
“Proud?”
“You fought him off, baby.” One corner of his lips turned upward. “You were a total badass, even back then.”
Mac stared up at him. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I am.”
“So why are you here? Touching me like this?” It was all so confusing.
“You don’t want me to touch you?”
God, yes. More than anything, she wanted this. Wanted him. But she’d promised herself no more secrets, and that meant she had to face the truth, too. Even when it was the last thing in the world she wanted to hear.
