Physically and emotionally spent, she let her eyes fall shut. Her heart—or what was left of it—broke with the formation of her last conscious thought.
To Kat, what she and Matt had shared was something she’d cherish for the rest of her days. But to him, it hadn’t meant a damn thing.
Chapter 7
Being as quiet as he could, Matt gathered Kat’s sopping wet clothes, ringing them out over the shower’s drain. Careful not to let them drip on the floor, he took them to the closet located on the wall behind the couch where Kole had installed a small, stackable washer/dryer set.
Grabbing a detergent pod from the half-empty container on the shelf above, he started the load so they’d be clean and dry when she woke up.
Once that was taken care of, he went back into the bathroom for the forgotten folder. Before he left the room again, he couldn’t help but to glance at her gorgeous, sleeping form.
When he’d realized Kat had fallen asleep while still on top of him, with him stillinsideher, he’d promptly carried her to bed and gotten dressed.
His dick twitched at the thought, no doubt ready for round two. Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.
Silently shutting the door behind him, Matt tossed the folder onto the couch as he passed by and went into the kitchen.
Once there, he began searching for something,anything, he could use to wash down the massive amount of guilt he was having a damn hard time swallowing. Of course, being on the job, he knew anything stronger than soda was out of the question.
He slammed the refrigerator door closed before wincing from fear he’d woken Kat up. Matt needed her to sleep as long as she possibly could.
If she was sleeping, he wouldn’t have to own up to the colossal fuck-up he’d made. He wouldn’t have to look into those enchanting eyes and remember the soft warmth with which her body had taken him in.
Instead of acting like the strong, disciplined operative he’d worked so hard to become, he’d been weak. Had let his physical wants override the logical side of his brain.
One minute they were arguing, and the next he was pulling her into the shower with him, rather than slamming the door shut and sending her away.
He wasn’t even sure what had happened.
You took what you wanted. And you loved every second of it.
Matt wanted to argue with the annoying voice in the back of his head, but he couldn’t. Did he regret sleeping with her, knowing he’d be walking away once this was over? Sure. Did he regret not having the strength to fight off the irrational desire for the one woman who’d held the power to break him all those years ago? Absolutely.
But another part—a deeper, hidden part—wanted nothing more than to walk back into that bedroom, crawl under those covers, and make love to her all over again.
No, that wasn’t right. They hadn’t made love. They’d had sex. The kind he’d dreamed of having with her.
When they were younger, their intimate moments were slow and magical. He’d taken his time. Had been loving and gentle.
The way they’d been with each other just now was far and away from that. It was raw and passionate. All-consuming on a level he’d never reached with anyone else.
Despite the fact that Matt knew it was wrong—for a billion and one reasons—sliding into Kat’s wet inferno had felt like coming home.
He couldn’t count the number of women he’d bedded, but what he and Kat had just shared was…different.
For the first time in years, he felt at peace. With his mouth on hers, their bodies locked together as tightly as possible and his arms around her slender form, it was almost as if he was right where he belonged.
I am so fucked.
Or, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was making more of this than was needed. He was assuming she’d want to pursue something more with him now that they’d slept together, but maybe she wouldn’t.
After all, he’d been brutally honest about where he stood. Had told her point-blank sex between them didn’t change anything. And in that moment, he’d believed that with every fiber of his hormonal-driven being.
Standing here now, however, with his body still humming from the most intense orgasm ever, Matt knew precisely how full of shit he’d actually been.
Gulping down the remaining drops of his soda, he threw the can in the trash and started for the couch. Plopping down on one of the dry cushions, he glanced over at that damn folder.
There’s nothing in here you need to know.
