“Then don’t ask me to stand by and watch you go through all that again.”
Hating that he still blamed himself for what happened before ate at her. “You have to let that go.”
“I can’t,” he ground out roughly, dropping his hand and taking a step back. The vein in his forehead became more prominent the angrier he got. “You don’t get it. You were asleep, but I wasn’t.Iwas there. Every. Single. Day.”
“I know.”
“No.” Alex shook his head vehemently. “You don’t.”
His chest heaved and his nostrils flared as he worked to calm himself. Alex moved toward her, his anxiety from those horrific days raising his voice as he spoke.
“I close my eyes, and I can still see it. I can still feel you collapsing in my arms. Your pulse nearly non-existent. The fear I felt that day? It’s still here.” He tapped his chest.
“Alex—” Eden tried to ease his pain, but he wouldn’t let her.
With fresh anguish he said, “I’ll never forget how it felt to sit by your side for three fucking days while you laid in that hospital bed. I watched and waited. Praying every second I could. Baby, you were unconscious for so long. Unresponsive to everything the doctors tried, and they thought…” His voice broke to the point he had to clear his throat to continue.
“The doctors didn’t know whether or not you’d even wake up again. That’s whatmyreality was back then, and I can’t”—he shook his head again, blinking back unshed tears— “I can’t go through that again.”
Grabbing the back of his neck, he turned away, almost as if he were unable to look at her just then. A fist the size of Texas squeezed her heart. Desperate now, Eden did everything she could to make him understand.
“God gave you this gift,” she spoke quietly. “It’s up to you how you use it.”
Alex faced her again but said nothing.
“Those were the last words my mother said to me before she was killed.”
“I thought your mother…” He paused, trying to choose his words carefully.
“Killed herself?” Eden took the burden from him. “That’s what the public story was. What the papers said.”
“So, how did she really die?”
Drawing in a deep breath, Eden shared something she’d never told another living soul. “Alex, my father killed my mother.”
“What?” Confused, he asked, “Why isn’t there a record of it?”
“Because no one ever knew the truth but me.” She shrugged. “And him.”
“What happened?”
“He made his famous chili for dinner one night. He scooped some into a bowl for himself and for me, and then made a bowl for her. Before he gave Mom hers, he crushed up a whole bottle of her prescription sleeping pills and stirred them in. She had no idea.”
“Jesus.” Alex took a step toward her. “How did you find out?”
“I suspected but didn’t dare ask him. Instead, I kept quiet and waited. The night of her funeral, my father drank himself to sleep. Once I knew he was out cold on the couch, I went to him. I put my hand on his forehead and I saw what he’d done.” A tear escaped her eye. “I saw everything.”
“Ah, fuck, Eden.” He went to her, then. Wrapping his arms around her, the sweet, caring man pulled her in close. “That must have been awful for you.”
Eden clutched the shirt at his back. “It was.”
After a moment, he asked, “What happened to him?”
“He woke up shortly after, having no idea what I’d done or that I knew the truth. He bitched about needing more beer. I was too young to drive, so he grabbed his keys and left for the store.” A sad but satisfied smile crossed her lips. “My father wrapped his car around a tree on his way home. He was killed instantly.”
With a muttered curse, Alex’s hold became even tighter. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
“Don’t be. I’m not.” Eden pulled away, needing to put some distance between her and the melting pot of emotions boiling between them. “My father never beat me or my mother. But in one, very significant way he was a lot like Josiah’s.”
