Grant thought back to the conversation he and Jake had shared once, in a bathroom just down the hall from where they were now.
Jake had completely lost his shit when Olivia was taken to surgery after having been kidnapped by a man who’d damn near tortured her to death. The former Delta operator had tried his damnedest to destroy the men’s restroom. Until Grant finally went in and talked him down.
Now,hewas the one who wanted to break something. To demolish anything and everything in his path, not stopping until some of this goddamn fear went away.
His breathing shallowed and his focus tunneled.
Knowing he was seconds away from a complete meltdown, Grant didn’t say a word. He just turned his back on his friends and walked away.
Not one person tried to stop him.
Woodenly, he shuffled down the hall and through the ER doors. His vision blurred, but Grant ignored it and kept going.
Each step brought with it a new, agonizing thought. He pictured Brynnon on that operating table. Thought about how, in this very second, she was lying in there fighting for her life.
Fortheirlife.
Grant’s mind whirled with the lifetime of memories they’d created over the span of only a few days. Pictures of her smiling back at him and laughing flashed before his watery eyes.
As if he’d somehow been transported back in time, Grant swore he could feel the warmth from her touch as they’d danced that night at the ball. The way her body had writhed sensually beneath his as they made love.
Having been moving almost robotically, he suddenly found himself around the corner, on other side of the building. When the moisture pooling in his eyes became blinding, he stopped.
He felt his chin quiver as his tears fought for release. Grant denied them, at first, determined to remain the strong, stoic man everyone expected him to be. But his emotions were too strong. Too powerful.
Trails of warm tears poured over his lids and down his cheeks as Grant Hill—the man who’d been called more machine than human—lost the battle miserably.
A loud, unrecognizable roar echoed through the night, and it took him a second to realize it was coming from him.
As the gates flew open and his heartache poured out in waves from his body, Grant turned to the one thing he knew would break the spell.
Pain.
With only one available target, he rammed his balled-up fist against the wall beside him. Again, and again, Grant punched the unforgiving bricks, his throat becoming raw as he finally let go of the pain and anger he’d kept bottled up inside.
He’d lost his mom. His child. And now, he may very well lose the only woman he’d ever loved.
In the short period of time they’d spent together, Brynnon had somehow burrowed a permanent place deep inside his soul. She’d seen him at his worst. His best. And everything in between.
And by some miracle, the crazy, amazing woman had still chosen him.
I can’t lose her. Ah, god...I can’t lose her.
As his grief set in and his strength quickly became depleted, Grant turned and slid down the rough wall. His ass hit the cold, hard ground below with a thud.
Knuckles bloody and throbbing, he rested his forearms on his bent knees and dropped his head between his shoulders. Then for the first time since his mom died, Grant began to sob.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat like that, but eventually his tears began to dry up, and his stuttering breaths became even. Exhausted, Grant pushed himself back onto his feet.
“You good?” The deep voice startled him.
Swinging his watery gaze up, Grant saw Jake standing by the corner’s edge. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and though Grant knew he’d seen at least part of his emotional meltdown, there was no judgment in the man’s eyes.
“Yeah.” Grant nodded. His voice sounded thick and hoarse. With a loud sniff, he wiped away the last remnants of tears and walked toward his boss.
“If you need more time, I can go back inside.”
He shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m good.”
