Trevor stood and walked over to her living room window. Looking out over her front yard, he went on.
“It was all a set-up. The asset was actually working for the man we were trying to take down. He led us into a trap.”
“Like a double-agent?” Olivia asked quietly.
Jake nodded. “Lisa trusted him, and we got screwed.” He took a deep breath and turned to face her. “Two of our men went in first. They said the place was clear and called for Lisa and her asset to come inside. Said they needed her to decipher something they’d found.”
Over his shoulder, Trevor explained, “Lisa could speak and read several languages. It wasn’t uncommon for her to translate documents for us during an op.” Looking back to her window, he continued, “Per protocol for this mission, I stayed back with our other teammates, keeping an eye out for any incoming threats. I watched Lisa and her asset walk inside. Two minutes later, the building exploded.”
“Oh, God, Trevor. I’m so sorry.”
He turned back to her. “That wasn’t even the worst of it. When we went through the rubble, we only found the two men from our team who’d entered the building first. They’d both been shot in the head.”
“What about Lisa and her asset?”
“There was a tunnel built into the mountain behind the shack that led to a bunker. Our people didn’t know it existed.”
“Lisa?”
“She was taken into the bunker and through a second tunnel. There was a hidden exit at the end of that one. By the time our guys discovered it, she was long gone.”
Trevor paused, his face hardening. “A video was sent to the CIA two days later. It was of Lisa. She was tied to a chair, and had been beaten. They received a new video every day for the next five days. I’ll spare you the details, but by the fifth day, when we received confirmation she was dead, we were relieved. For her sake.”
Olivia didn’t even want to imagine what had been done to the poor woman. “I’m so sorry. You and your team must have been devastated.”
Trevor nodded. “We were. And for a long time, I blamed myself.”
“Why? You were only going off of the information Lisa’s asset gave you, right?”
“Right. Except I didn’t trust the asset. There was just something...off about the guy. I voiced my concerns multiple times to our commander and to Lisa. She always defended the man. Said he’d never steered her wrong. And the powers that be wouldn’t listen to me because they were too focused on getting our target. No matter the cost.”
Trevor walked over to the couch and sat down. “Instead of listening to my gut, I made the call to move forward with the op. I gave the go-ahead for Lisa to enter that building, and she died a horrific death because of it.”
Olivia reached for his hand. “Trevor, what happened to Lisa was awful, and I can’t imagine what you and your team went through. But it wasn’t your fault.”
He stared back at her, the sadness in his eyes heartbreaking. “I went through the pointless cycle of what-ifs. What if I had just waited a few more days until Jake was better? Maybe we would have learned about the tunnel and been more prepared? What if I’d listened to my instincts and demanded the CIA do a more thorough look into the asset’s history and known associates? What if I had pushed the higher-ups harder? It went on and on.”
Olivia understood completely. She’d played the what-if game ever since the day she’d been taken and her friends had been ruthlessly killed.
He blinked, and his glossy eyes found Olivia’s again. “I blamed myself for a long time. The guilt ate at me. Watching those videos, seeing someone I cared about being tortured like that, and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it.” He shook his head slowly. “I’ve never felt so...”
“Helpless,” she whispered for him, her face wet from tears she hadn’t even realized had fallen.
Trevor’s expression changed instantly. He squeezed her hand and looked at her apologetically.
“Damn, Olivia. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. After what you went through”—he released her hand to run his fingers through his hair—“Jesus, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Olivia promised, sniffing as she wiped the tears away with her hands. “That’s exactly how I felt about what happened my group. I blamed myself for all of it, but Jake helped me see that there really wasn’t anything I could have done to save them.” She drew in a cleansing breath. “In my head, I know he’s right, but my heart still hasn’t fully caught up, yet. So, although our situations are quite different, I think I sort of understand where you’re coming from.”
His brows went together. “Yeah, I guess you probably do.”
“What I don’t understand,” Olivia said softly. “Is what any of this has to do with me and Jake.”
His look was piercing. “I didn’t push Lisa into looking more closely into her asset. Every time I brought it up, it caused an argument. Same thing happened when I brought it up to the guys sitting behind their desks in Washington. So, I did the easy thing. I went against my better judgment, and I let it go.”
“What I’m trying to say, Olivia, is that I don’t know if it would have made a damn bit of difference if we’d waited. But if there was even achancethat waiting could have kept Lisa from being tortured to death and kept my men alive...I should have waited. No matter what the consequences were, personal or professional.”
He let that sink in for a minute before asking, “Do you understand what I’m saying? I should have done whatever it took to keep her and the others safe. Even if that something would have ruined our chances at catching the bastard we were after. It was our job as a team to protect Lisa on our ops. Her safety should have trumped our objective, hands-down. No matter the cost.”
