I follow the cop inside while another officer stays with Lena by the ambulance. The elevator is broken like always, so we take thestairs up to the apartment. Yellow tape crosses our apartment door which hangs crookedly on its hinges.
"The lock was forced." The officer pulls the tape aside to let me through. "They used something heavy to break it open."
I step into the apartment and stop breathing. Everything is destroyed. The couch cushions are slashed open with stuffing pulled out and scattered across the floor. The TV is smashed. Books and DVDs are thrown everywhere. Kitchen cabinets hang open with dishes shattered on the tile. Every drawer has been pulled out and emptied.
"Jesus Christ." I press my hand over my mouth and feel tears burning my eyes. This is most definitely not a robbery. This is a message. Someone is very angry and they want me to know it. I have told the police about them, and they want me "cleaned up" the way Dimitri and his men are talking about cleaning up their mess. "Holy shit."
"Can you tell if anything's missing?" The officer walks farther into the apartment while I stand frozen in the doorway. "Electronics, jewelry, cash?"
I force myself to move and walk toward my bedroom. The door's open, and I can see before I even get there that it's been torn apart just like the living room. My mattress is off the bed frame. My clothes are pulled from the closet and thrown across the floor. The dresser drawers are upside down with my things scattered everywhere.
"They were looking for something." My voice sounds strange and distant even to myself, and I know I shouldn't be speaking aloud, but I can't stop it. I'm still tipsy, and processing things aloudhelps me stay out of the fear and in the present. There's a cop here. I'm safe. Right?
"Is there anything specific they might have been looking for?" He watches my face carefully. "Any reason someone would target you specifically?"
The police report. The murder I witnessed. The statement I gave about the two men executing someone in the alley behind the casino. I swallow hard and turn to face him slowly. My eyes are wide and my tongue feels like it's stuck to the roof of my mouth.
"I filed a police report a few days ago," I mumble, "about a murder I witnessed. Could this be related to that?"
The officer's expression doesn't change as he says, "What murder?" It's weird. Wouldn't he be curious? Wouldn't he want to know what I'm talking about and also draw the same conclusion as me?
"Behind the casino where I work." I wrap my arms around myself. "I saw two men shoot someone in the head. I gave a statement to Detective Volkov at the station downtown."
He makes a note in his pad. "I don't have any information about that report. But I'll contact the detective and let him know about this break-in."
"You don't understand." My voice rises and I can hear the panic creeping in. "The Kozlov crew killed that man. Lieutenant Volkov told me they don't leave witnesses alive." I'm blurting out things I've heard Dimitri and his men say and I know I shouldn't be. I just can't stop myself. "And now someone broke into my apartment and assaulted my roommate and?—"
"Okay, okay, slow down." The officer holds up his hand in a weak gesture of sympathy, trying to calm me. "Let's focus on what we can do right now. This apartment isn't safe with the door broken like that. Do you have somewhere you can stay tonight?"
I shake my head because I don't have anywhere to go. My mother lives twenty-four hours away and I can't afford a hotel. Lena's family might take me in, but I don't want to put them in danger if whoever did this comes back looking for me.
This guy is a joke. I've just told him I think I know who did this and he's acting like I'm a nutcase who's overreacting.
"Alright." He pulls out his phone. "Let me make some calls and see what resources we have available for situations like this. In the meantime, pack a bag with whatever you need for a few days."
I nod and move numbly around my destroyed bedroom picking up clothes and toiletries while trying not to look too closely at the damage. Someone went through all my things. They touched everything I own. They were in here looking for something and I don't even know what.
My hands shake so badly, I can barely zip up the duffel bag I find under a pile of clothes. When I walk back into the living room, the officer's still on his phone talking to someone about temporary housing options.
I sit down on the armrest of the slashed couch and stare at the destruction around me. This is my fault. I went to the police and now whoever killed that man knows I saw them. They know where I live. They broke into my home and hurt Lena trying to find me or scare me or send some kind of message.
"We're going to take you somewhere safe for tonight." The officer ends his call and walks over to where I'm sitting. "There's a women's shelter about twenty minutes from here that has space available."
"A shelter?" I look up at him. "I can't go to a shelter." I won't be safe at a shelter, either. That man followed me here from work because he already knew where I live. He might've been one of the ones who did this, and now this prick wants me to sleep at a shelter with no locks on the doors or privacy?
"It's just for tonight until we can figure out a better solution." His voice is kind but firm. "Your apartment isn't secure and we need to make sure you're safe."
He nods at the door, and I can't protest. I pick up the bag and follow him while internally trying to figure out where I can even go. A hotel won't be safe. I can't exactly sleep on the street. And the only other option I can think of is Dimitri—but fuck that. I'll end up drunk and screwing him. No way.
Lena's sitting in the ambulance now with a bandage on her head. The paramedic is explaining something about concussion symptoms and follow-up care. I walk over and she grabs my hand.
"Where are they taking you?" She squeezes my fingers, and I notice she seems very tired.
"He said he wants me to go to a shelter for the night." I squeeze back. "But I may just go to work. I'm not sure."
"This is because of what you saw, isn't it?" Her voice drops to a whisper. "The murder at the casino. They know you were there."
"I don't know." But I do know. Deep down, I know exactly why this happened. "I'm so sorry, Lena. I'm so sorry they hurt you because of me."
