“What’s up?” I ask him in a whisper so I don’t disturb Taleah.
“Wanna go for a ride? Elara’s asleep in my bed and it’s too nice today to stay inside when we could be goin’ for a ride.We’ll be back by the time they wake up and can figure out what we’re doin’ for dinner,” he asks me with a large grin on his face. We both get excited to go for rides and today is no different.
“I’m always down to ride, you know that,” I tell him as I begin to untangle myself from Taleah. Our legs are entwined and her head is resting on my chest with her arm wrapped around my waist. Even her hair is wrapped around my arm somehow.
“Are you leaving?” Taleah asks, her voice full of sleep as she lifts her head just enough to look at me with eyes that are half closed.
“Goin’ for a ride with your brother. We’ll be back in a while. Elara is asleep in his bed,” I inform her as she immediately becomes wide awake and sits up faster than I thought possible next to me.
“I want to go for a ride with you. You’ve never taken me on one, Rex. Am I not good enough to sit on your bike?” she asks me and I can see how upset she is. “You know I have all the riding gear and I’ve been on the back of Bhodi’s bike before. I know how to be a passenger.”
“It’s not happenin’, Doll,” I say, getting out of her bed and looking down at her.
“Why will you put every other girl on your bike and I always get turned down? I thought you’d want me, and only me, there since we’re together now. Instead, it’s just one more time you treat me like I’m nothing to you. If that’s the case, maybe we need to rethink this relationship,” she says, breaking my fucking heart because that’s the last thing I want to happen.
“Look, Taleah, I’m goin’ for a ride with your brother. No one else will be with us,” I say, trying to make her happywith this information but we both know things change in a heartbeat.
“Like that means something. Just go, Rex. I don’t want to see you so don’t bother coming back today. I need to rethink if I’m willing to remain with you when you treat me like I’m nothing but your best friend’s little sister,” she says, the first tears spilling over her lashes and rolling down her face. I reach out to wipe them away only to have Taleah slap my hand away. “Go!”
Leaning down, I press a kiss to the top of her head before turning and walking out of her room. Taleah just needs some time to calm down and she’ll realize she’s more than my best friend’s sister. She’s the girl who owns my heart in a way I’ve never experienced before. Taleah is the first girl I’ve ever dated and been in a relationship with. Anyone else has just been for a night and then I’m done with them. They don’t get the soft side of me and never will. That’s a side only for Taleah and my sister.
That was the one and only time Taleah ever talked back to me and fought for our relationship. After that she got quiet and barely said a word if I chose not to take her for a ride with me. It didn’t matter if her brother went with me or not. The only time she was ever on a bike was with him and I hated it every damn time I knew about it. When I wasn’t with them, the two of them would go for long rides and go anywhere she wanted to. He would take her to parks, out to eat, and they’d spend the entire day doing whatever she wanted. The same as I’d do for my sister when it was just the two of us. All four of us never rode together because I wouldn’t put Elara on the back of my bike either. If I wasn’t willing to risk my girl, I wasn’t going to take the chance that I’d hurt my sister either. Elara seemed to understand myreasons without me having to say a word to her. She just went along with it and stopped asking after a while.
Now, she doesn’t believe she’ll ever be on the back of my bike. That’s nothing more than a lie. My bike is new and no one has ever ridden with me. I’m more confident in my skills, don’t ride my sport bike on a daily basis, and want to feel Taleah wrapped around me as we spend the day riding with no destination in mind. I’ve been waiting for her to ask me for a ride so I can finally say yes. Instead, she just made me feel like the biggest piece of shit and I have a feeling she won’t ever ask me to take her for a ride again. It’s something I’ll have to work on and prove to her that it’s what I want more than anything else. I’ve been dreaming of her doing something we both love for over eight years and I’ll take all the time necessary until she’s ready.
Thinking back on the memory I just relived, I understand that’s the only time I ever saw Taleah cry about me. She never once gave me her tears when she was upset or I pissed her off. I’d get the silent treatment as she slinked back into the shadows so I could shine bright in whatever I was doing. That’s not how I want her to live her life and I’ll be damned if it happens again. Taleah deserves to shine brighter than anyone else around her and be treated like a damn queen. I only now fully understand just how horrible I treated her when we were together and made a vow to myself a long time ago that I would make up for every single time I treated her less than what she was in my eyes.
Putting on my bandana and helmet, I start my bike and rev it a few times before pulling away from the curb and heading out of town. I might have been able to see Taleah for the first time in a week, but it definitely didn’t go how I thought it would. Instead of possibly taking her out to lunch or making sure she has something to eat, I’m the one leaving on my own while she goes about her day. Every inch of me hurts with the knowledgeI’ve hurt so bad in the past it’s something she can’t let go of and still bothers her eight years later. My chest hurts and is tight while my soul feels as if it’s being ripped from my body.
While I’m riding out of town, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I answer it through the Bluetooth connection all of our helmets have.
“What’s up?” I answer, not sure who’s calling me since I can’t see my phone screen.
“You finally see your girl or are you still bein’ a prick?” Count asks me, laughter filling his voice because he finds this situation hilarious.
“I saw her and had it blow up in my fuckin’ face. Some patch chaser tried to stake a claim on me in front of her and asked for a ride on my bike,” I answer him, my voice a low growl as I think of the skank in question who fucked up my plans. Though, it’s honestly my own fault for my previous actions toward Taleah.
“That’s fuckin’ hysterical, Master. I’m sorry, but you’re finally havin’ to work for the girl you want. Every fuckin’ card is held by her and you’re almost a bystander while she makes the decision whether or not to let you back in her life,” Count says and he’s not wrong in his assessment of the situation.
“Fuck you. Did you call for a particular reason or just to give me shit?” I question him as I slow down for a stop light.
“We’re headin’ to the diner. Come have lunch with us before you disappear for the rest of the day,” he says as my stomach chooses that moment to growl and I realize I haven’t eaten anything all day long.
“I’m almost there now. You guys still at the compound?” I return, waiting for the light to turn green so I can go.
“We’re headin’ out now. Be there in less than fifteen,” he says, hanging up the phone as the light turns green and I head for the diner.
While I’m waiting for the guys to show up, I scroll through social media on my phone. Personally, I don’t have any accounts on that shit. It’s pointless and a waste of time. Taleah does use social media though. Not just for personal use, but for Fantasy Realm as well. She posts all about the books, asks authors if they would like to show up for a small signing in the store, and a ton of other things. Her personal page is essentially bare and has been for the last eight years. One of the last posts she made is about her brother just before he lost his life. I try not to check her personal page, but sometimes I can’t help but relive our time together through the pictures she used to share with the world. We’re all happy and full of life back then. Elara and Taleah are still so innocent. I’d give almost anything to go back to those days before my world shattered.
Chapter Eighteen
Taleah
I’VE BEEN EXTREMELY busy over the last few weeks since I left the ranch. While I love my parents and don’t have a problem staying for a short visit at their house, I don’t want to live with them permanently again. I’m a grown adult and need my own space. Plus, this house is full of memories I’d rather not relive. My brother has left marks all over the house and his face is everywhere. The pictures of us growing up haven’t been moved or changed since his death. It’s as if every single room is a shrine to his life and a reminder that he won’t ever get to experience things I’ll be able to. He’s missing out on a life filled with love and happiness and there are reminders of that all over the place. I’ve spent hours over the last week alone just staring at various pictures of him and thinking about what was happening when his memory was preserved for the rest of eternity. This is all we have left of my brother when I want him here with me in person to give me advice and get rid of TJ. Of running him off way before things got as bad as they did.
I called the realtor I dealt with for my house and talked to her about buying a new house somewhere in Glendale. A place no one knows about and I can truly make my own without TJ entering my sanctuary and destroying it again. She’s excited to help me and offers to take me out in a few hours to look at a few places she knows of. They’re almost the same as my old house and in my price range. The range I set for myself despite having a trust fund and more money than I’ll ever spend in my lifetime. I’ve made some wise investments and kept most of the money inaccounts TJ can’t touch or it would be gone because of him. He’s heard rumors of me having money, but has never once been able to prove anything. It’s something that drove him insane in the past. TJ is all about the money and using me for everything I’ll give him. Something I’ll never do again because I’m better than what he’s been giving me. Debbie has helped me learn to only accept people in my life who add value and want to be around me for me. Not for what I can give them. Or what they can steal from me.
Yes, I now fully realize TJ and I were in an abusive relationship. He abused me financially, mentally, and emotionally until it turned physical that day in my store. I’ve worked through all the reasons why I stayed with him for as long as I did. It basically boils down to the fact that he wouldn’t leave when I tried to get him to and that he became something I was used to. Instead of being alone, I chose to keep him around because he filled an empty spot in my life. It’s a spot I’m slowly learning to fill on my own and understand I don’t ever have to keep toxic people surrounding me in order to have people in my life.
