“Yeah. Definitely thought we would have some calmness once we got out. Bein’ here is like enterin’ an entirely different world that operates on its own schedule. No one here is bound by the restraints of time other than their appointments. You any closer to gettin’ a second chance with your girl?” Manic questions me as Roger exits the barn and wipes the sweat from his face.
“Not at all. She said we need to have a conversation, but she’s not ready for it. I’m not about to push her when she’s been tryin’ to work through everythin’. We’ll sort our shit out some day. I’ll just continue to be as close as she’ll let me for now. I don’t like that she’ll be at her parents’ house on her own, but there’s not much I can do about it. If I suggest her movin’ to the compound, she’ll turn me down without hesitation. Think I’m usin’ it as a way to force the conversation from happenin’ when she wants it to. I have to slowly earn her trust back and that’s not somethin’ that will be easy. Not when she thinks I was cheatin’ on her,” I tell Manic as we start heading for the house while Roger steps up next to us and the three of us walk in silence together. “Is Bear allowed in the house?”
“He is. He’s potty trained and will let you know if he has to go out. Just keep an eye on him if Charlotte’s on the floor. I don’t see him hurting her, but she might get to him and do something Ivy doesn’t want her to. I think Charlotte is getting sick because she was crying longer than normal when Ivy took her in for a nap,” Roger answers as Manic’s head snaps to him in silent question. “I’m gonna have Ivy take her to the medical wing before dinner so she can get examined. If she’s sick, we need to stop it before she gets worse.”
“I’ll go with her. Next time call me if Ivy’s havin’ a hard time with Charlotte. She’s used to me and sometimes will only sleep if I’m holdin’ her,” Manic says as he quickens his pace and practically runs up the steps to disappear in the house.
“I’m gonna take a quick shower before starting dinner. Annistyn is coming over tonight for a while. She has a session with Debbie later but wants to hang out for a while. I think she might bring Oreo with her. Bear might like to see one of his sisters,” Roger says as we head up the steps toward the front door instead of going in through the side door like I have been since that’s how Taleah was going inside.
I head for the refrigerator and grab a bottle of water. Removing the cap, I down over half the bottle at one time. I’m thirsty as hell since I’ve spent most of the day outside. With the wind blowing slightly harder than normal, it kicked up dust. I feel like my body is covered in a fine layer of it. Maybe I should take a shower now too. Though, I don’t want to miss Taleah if she leaves before I get done.
Putting the cap back on my bottle, I listen as Manic and Ivy talk softly in her room with small whimpers coming from Charlotte. There’s movement from Taleah’s room and I know she’s still packing. Maybe I do have time for a quick shower because this dirt is really starting to bother me now that I’m notmoving around. Making the decision, I head for my room just down from Taleah’s and strip down the second my door is shut. Bear follows me and lays down at the end of the bed without me telling him to. I get in the shower without waiting for the water to heat up. Instead of lingering under the hot water like I normally do, I wash my hair and rinse it before moving on to my body. I’m drying off in less than five minutes and know Taleah couldn’t have finished packing her things already. At least that’s what I’m telling myself as I dress in a clean pair of jeans and tee-shirt, leaving my cut on the back of the chair where I laid it before heading into the bathroom.
Roger is already in the kitchen when I leave my room. Ivy’s door is open now, but she’s not in the kitchen helping Roger so I’m guessing Manic walked her over to the medical wing with Charlotte. Once Bear settles in at the end of the counter with his head tilted toward me, I get busy helping Roger prepare dinner. He rarely cooks alone and I’m not doing anything right now. There’s no reason I can’t help him as we work in silence. Roger is really good about giving us our space and letting us open up to him when we’re ready. Viper has talked to him a little bit about his past. I’ve seen them walk around the ranch so they could have some privacy a few times and Viper was really quiet when he got back with us. The only time he goes quiet is when he’s having a hard day and thoughts of his past are hitting him hard. While Roger and I work, I listen to Taleah moving around her room. She’s still here. Hopefully she’ll share one last meal with us before she leaves.
Chapter Sixteen
Taleah
DEBBIE AND I made the decision that it’s time for me to leave the ranch after being here the last few weeks. I can return to my parents’ house and work and can have sessions here with Debbie in person or over the phone if I can’t make it here for some reason. Personally, I think I’ve made a lot of progress with myself, but there’s still work to be done. A lot of work. I’ll do everything Debbie asks of me because she hasn’t steered me in the wrong direction yet. She makes me question myself and dig deep for answers to questions I’ve never asked myself before. Until coming here and starting to meet with Debbie, I never would have believed I needed therapy for any reason. Including the situation with TJ. I would have just processed things on my own before moving on. The reality of that decision would be that I never would have truly worked through why I allowed him to stay as long as I did and why I put up with his shit. Especially the cheating.
Today, our session was about my past relationship with Rex. I got to talk about a lot of things I never voiced to anyone and realized just how horrible we were together. Debbie doesn’t think it’s about the two of us, but that it was our first relationship and neither one of us knew what we were doing. Especially him because he went from playing the field and never taking the same girl out twice, to being in a real relationship with me. He always kept the girls at arm’s length so they didn’t get any ideas about them being more serious than what it was between them. Somehow, I ended up in that same category with Rex and henever broke the cycle. I simply let him get away with the shit so he had no reason to change anything. It was a lot to take in and realize things might have been a lot different if I called him out on his shit.
Seeing him right after that therapy session fucked with my head more than I thought it would. All of our memories were already fresh in my mind and then he was standing right there behind me. Hearing his voice as gentle as it used to be when we were alone or he was rescuing me from some situation I managed to get myself in over the years. Like the times he’d hold me and just let me ramble on until I couldn’t talk any longer or cry on his chest if I was having a rough day. When Rex was actually sweet and caring instead of the asshole he showed the rest of the public. The playboy who didn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself in a way. Elara and I were always important to him, but only when he got to get in a fight as his way of defending us. Bhodi was the same way at times.
I’m almost done packing when there’s a knock on my door. I carefully walk over and open it to find Annistyn standing there with a puppy in her arms.
“I hear you’re going home today. Please tell me you’ll eat dinner with us before you leave,” she says, a smile on her face as the puppy reaches up and licks her chin.
“I am going home. It’s going to be good for me to be alone. My parents are still on a business trip for another week or so. I’ll have the time I need to process being on my own like never before. I’ve always lived with someone and this is the first time there won’t be someone else there for me. I’ll have to rely entirely on myself,” I answer her, avoiding talking about dinner because I’m not sure if I want to sit at a table with Rex again.
“Please eat dinner with us if it’s your last day here. Roger went all out tonight like he usually does when one of us leaves.He feels as if he’s losing a friend or family member. I get how he feels. I was here for a year and felt really bad when I left. Like I was losing part of myself. You have been here for a few weeks now and it still feels the same for him,” Annistyn says, stepping closer when her puppy tries to get to me.
I pet her while Annistyn tells me her name is Oreo and we laugh over some of Oreo’s antics. Annistyn doesn’t say anything else about me staying for dinner, but she doesn’t leave me alone either. She comes in my room with me while I finish packing my stuff. The only thing I leave behind is the snacks and drinks I’ve bought over the last few weeks. Roger assured me he’d cover the cost, but I couldn’t let him do that. I gave him the money for everything he brought me.
“So, can I ask you a question?” Annistyn says as I zip up the duffle bag and join her on the bed.
“You can,” I respond, turning to give her my full attention.
“What’s going on with Master and you?” she asks, pure curiosity on her face as she waits for me to answer her.
“Well, that’s a long story. We have a shared past with more than just the two of us. There were four of us at one point. I lost my brother when he drowned in a pool. The very next night Rex, or Master as you know him, pushed me away completely. He cheated on me at a party. I honestly don’t know if that’s the only time he cheated on me, but I’m hoping it is. When we were together, things between us were great when we were alone or with my brother and his sister. If we were in public or at school, he acted as if I were simply his best friend’s little sister. I never called him out on his shit and we didn’t have a very good relationship. Debbie seems to think it’s because it was the first one for each of us and we were both trying to navigate the change between us. We were together almost two years andit never once changed,” I tell her a little about our past as she stares at me.
“Would you ever give him a second chance?” she questions me as Oreo tries to jump up in my lap from the floor.
“I don’t know. At this point, I don’t think I would. There’s simply too much between us. Things he doesn’t know because I never got the chance to tell him. When he pushed me away that night, I cut all ties. I was mourning the loss of my brother, trying to be there for my parents, and get through my senior year of high school all at the same time. Plus, I’m pretty sure he left for boot camp shortly after that. It was the last time I saw him until a few weeks ago. We’ve barely talked since then,” I tell her my honest opinion on the situation between the two of us right now.
“I get it. I don’t know Master as well as some of the other guys. He tends to remain in his room with his computers most of the time. What I do believe is that he did what he thought was the best when you were younger. Even if he could have gone about things in a better way. I won’t sit here and tell you what to do or how to live your life because you’re finding yourself and learning what you will and won’t put up with at this point. What I will say is have the conversation the two of you need to have and go from there. Both of you have grown up and changed in ways neither understand or know,” Annistyn says as another knock sounds on my door and I look up to see Roger standing there.
“Dinner’s ready. Are you going to join us, Taleah?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes as Oreo rushes over to him.
“I think I will. Then I’d like to get on the road because I don’t want to be out too long after we lose the sunlight. My parents aren’t home and I want there to still be light when I get there,” I answer him as I stand from the bed and grab my walker. It’s been a very long day and my legs are feeling slightly shaky.The last thing I want to do is fall and get hurt or have to go back to the hospital because of an injury.
Annistyn follows behind me with Oreo in her arms again. The seat next to Rex is once again empty as Annistyn moves around me toward the seat closest to Roger. I have no choice but to sit next to him when I don’t want to. Rex pulls out my chair and I hand him over the walker while sitting down. Viper is on the other side of me again as I wait for the dishes to be passed around the table again. It doesn’t take long before I have a full plate of food in front of me. Tonight Roger made steak, roasted potatoes, asparagus, crescent rolls, and I see a cake on the counter for dessert. Everything smells amazing and I can’t wait to dig into this meal. I don’t really enjoy cooking for myself so homemade meals after tonight will be few and far between until my parents come back home.
“Tonight we celebrate Taleah leaving the ranch behind. She’s graduated from living here full-time and will only come back for her therapy sessions. Congratulations, Taleah for putting in the hard work,” Roger says as everyone lifts their glasses in a toast and I join in while fighting back the tears. Leaving is making me more emotional than I thought it would.
“Thank you. I love being here and will come back for anything you need in the future. Not just my therapy appointments,” I say as I cut into my steak and take the first bite.
